


What We Fear the Most

by agapeandzoe



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: CaBenson, F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-04
Updated: 2018-08-06
Packaged: 2019-06-16 09:20:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 26,091
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15433896
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/agapeandzoe/pseuds/agapeandzoe
Summary: In the life of a police officer and an ADA, sometimes the past comes back to haunt you. Old cases, convicted felons, rapists, and murderers can all evoke fear when you have a family you would die for. When a notorious name and case from the Benson-Cabot's past makes a reappearance, it will take love and hope and logic, in the midst of chaos and emotions, to save one of them.





	1. Chapter 1

1

"Olivia. Stop." Alex chuckled, cell phone to her right ear as she stroked the long hair of her ponytail, watching Theo push Grace on the swing before moving to Isabel and then repeating the action, over and over again, their little boy trying to be fair and equal when it came to the number of pushes he was doling out.

"Well, let me know and I can call Fin and have him send a patrol car out," Olivia kidded.

"That won't be necessary, Babe. No sign of Big Peter-Peter Pumpkin-Eater here today," Alex looked around and behind her at the branching trails of the park. "Or his trench coat." Alex giggled. "God, it's so beautiful today, Liv. Not too cold, not too hot. I wish you didn't have to work."

"I know, Al. But I'll be home early. I'm leaving here as soon as Dr. Klein finishes his examination of a new patient and then we'll get her and her son and daughter settled into a room. So it'll be around one."

"Well…" Alex looked at her watch—eleven o'clock— "…how about we go out to dinner tonight? Take the kids to that new Hibachi Teppanyaki grill where they all get a chef's hat and get to see one of those onion volcanoes? They'll love that." Alex smiled as she watched Grace giggling as she went higher and higher.

"That sounds great, Al."

Alex could hear typing then, commotion in the near distance, where her wife was, at Haven House.

"Higher!" Isabel screamed.

"I am!" Theo yelled back before biting his tongue and giving her a hefty push.

"OK, Liv. I'll let you go. But I'll see you soon?"

"OK, Al. I'll call right before I leave to see if you need anything on my way home. OK?"

Alex smiled as she watched the girls get off of the swing and their brother get on one, both of her blondies standing behind him and ready. "Sounds good. I love you."

"Go! Push me!" Theo yelled.

The girls began pushing him with all of their strength, their ponytails already askew, little faces pink with exertion and the rays of the sun, tongues also sticking out as they used all their strength.

"I love you, too, Babe." And Olivia's end disconnected.

Alex ended the call and set the phone face down on her right thigh, still watching the kids from the bench where she was sitting. It was a gorgeous, cool, low-sixties, April morning and they had been in Central Park, just a couple of streets over from Lexington Avenue, for the past two hours and the kids were all beginning to show signs of exhaustion and hunger—little t-shirts and hoodies and jeans worn-in, wind-blown hair all over the place, rosy cheeks, sweat pasted locks around their foreheads and temples.

"OK, guys. Two more minutes and then we're gonna head back home and eat lunch. OK?"

Theo nodded. "OK, Mommy!" He giggled, his grin broad as he swooshed forward. "Yea!"

Alex stood and slipped her cell phone into her back pocket and then folded her arms, looking down at her jeans and navy crew neck sweatshirt, noting a couple of stray Hillary hairs on her top, as she walked slowly toward the graveled section where the kids were. She opened her mouth and yawned and covered it before looking around and then smiling at a couple pushing a stroller as they passed by.

"Come on, guys. Let's go. Off of the swings. Iz, get your jacket. You dropped it, Baby."

Theo and Grace came toward her then and reached out for her hands as Isabel moved to just next to one of the poles of the swing set and retrieved her pink sweat jacket that she had discarded haphazardly only a few minutes ago.

They all began walking down the paved path then, the trails surprisingly not busy, but the impending rain might have been a factor in what was keeping people away—that and the Tartan Day Parade that was happening at 44th and 6th Street.

Theo let go of her hand and walked in front of her and Isabel took her free hand, each girl now on either side of her.

Thunder rumbled in the distance in the east and it traveled across the sky and Alex looked up at the darkening clouds.

"Mommy. My shoe," Isabel squeaked.

"Well, let's practice tying it, my girl." She looked ahead and called to her son. "Theo, come next to me and let's wait for your sister."

Tying shoes was still a work in progress—especially the twins—and the ladies had been patiently teaching and re-teaching the process, all three having it down at this point, but all needing a little extra time to complete the task.

"Good girl, Iz. You got it." Alex smiled, watching her.

Theo squatted next to a hedge and began picking up a couple of small gray rocks while Grace pulled away from the blonde, their hands still together.

A man came around the corner then, walking a beautifully kept Boxer on a leash. The dog moved to a tree and lifted his leg and did his business, a nice stream exiting.

"That doggie is going to the bathroom, Mommy? On the tree?" Grace's expression was intrigued.

"Yes, Baby." Alex caught eyes with the man and they smiled.

He was young, attractive, shaved head, dark features, most likely Hispanic in ethnicity. His eyes were dark and intense, yet kind.

"Good morning," he smiled, his dog now moving closer and beginning to sniff the blonde's knees before moving to Grace, as well.

Isabel finished her shoes and took Alex's left hand again.

"Good morning." Alex looked at Theo who was still looking for rocks. "Come on, Theo. Let's go, Baby. Before it starts raining."

Theo dutifully walked up to her and looked up at the man, squinting against the sun that was peeking through the gathering clouds.

"He has your eyes," the man offered, pulling the leash and twisting it around his hand to shorten it, bringing his dog closer.

Alex narrowed her eyes at the man. "That's what everyone says."

"Can I pet the dog, Mommy?" Grace looked up at her then, using her hand to shield her eyes.

"It's the man's dog, my love. We need to ask him." Alex looked at Theo who was now watching the dog with interest.

"Do you want to pet him?" The man questioned.

Grace nodded quickly, smiling and Theo did, too, while Isabel moved closer to Alex and rested her right temple on Alex's side. The blonde wrapped her arm around her. "Go ahead, guys. Pet the nice dog."

"His name is Frankie." The man offered. "He's very friendly."

Theo and Grace squatted down and began petting the canine's short caramel brown fur—carefully, lovingly—their children so good with animals after being around Hillary for so long.

"He's a beautiful dog," Alex smiled, beginning to stroke the crown of Isabel's hair with her left hand.

"Thank you," the man declared.

Thunder rumbled once more, this time lightning accompanying it.

The man looked up. "Looks like it's gonna be a big one." He had a slight accent, perhaps one that he had had since birth that had gently faded over time. His gaze went to Alex then. "You probably have a nice, big house, though, to get back to. Keep you safe from the rain. Something fancy, I'm sure."

Alex studied the man now and saw a sudden coldness. She held Isabel's hand tightly. "Come on, Gracie, Theo. Let's let the man go. We need to get home." She held her right hand out and Grace came immediately, placing her own in the blonde's.

"Nice family you have. Beautiful kids. It's nice when a family can stay together and be there for each other."

Alex tried a smile and then moved up to Theo, nudging his backside with her knee. "Let's go, guys." She looked at the man once more. "Have a nice day."

"Did you think that tearing my family apart would end there?"

Alex froze then, the hairs on the back of her neck standing at attention.

"Did you really think that letting my father die in prison wouldn't have consequences?"

Alex's heart began to thud inside of her chest then, her hands beginning to tremble.

"Mommy?" Theo looked up at her, his brow wrinkled. He pressed the back of his head to Alex's stomach, staying close to her now.

Alex smiled down at him. "Let's go, guys. Come on."

"No," the man said, his tone calm. "I wouldn't do that. Besides…you won't get far." He turned slightly to his left to show Alex his back right hip, opening his red and white Fila jacket, the silver glimmer of a pistol peeking from his waistband.

Alex looked back at him, feeling her hands shaking even more now as she held her daughters' hands, feeling her body break out in a cold sweat, feeling her legs weaken beneath her. She steeled herself as she spoke, "My wife is a New York City detective, Sir. I'm not sure what you're trying to pull, but all I have to do is make a phone call and an officer or detective will be here."

He smiled then. "Same detective from thirteen years ago? The one with the short dark hair?"

Alex closed her mouth and swallowed then, not understanding how this man knew anything about her. Out of all of the cases they had closed, of all of the people they had put away, this had to be something that was related to one of those. But which one?

"I was thirteen years old, thirteen years ago, Ms. Cabot." He smiled again. "I was thirteen when my father was murdered in prison. And you're the one who sent him there."

Zapata.

Alex felt her lower lip begin to quaver then, but she clenched her jaw, attempting to stop it and trying to appear strong.

"And I've been keeping up with you. We both have…"

Just then, another man came down the path, into view, a similar look but shorter and more muscular, the same intense darkness to his eyes.

"My brother, Armando. And if I didn't tell you already…I'm Raul." He held his hand to his chest charmingly.

The other man stopped to the right of Grace then and her little girl looked up at him, squinting.

Alex felt her throat close up then and she swallowed hard, willing the tears away.

"Mommy?" Grace questioned.

Alex only smiled down at her, knowing that her face held fear and wasn't comforting in the slightest.

"Mommy, what's happening?" Theo's voice was high, innocent, scared.

"It's OK, Baby," Alex whispered, her voice barely audible.

Raul continued, "The press is a very informative organization. You can find out a lot about people. City workers, police officers, weddings. I spent my own time locked up for the same thing my father was in for." Raul leaned in then, as though telling a secret. "But I was never as bad as him." He grinned. "I guess you could say I continued the family business. Now, I'm out." He grinned and held his arms to the side. "And ready for payback."

Two bikers whizzed by then and Alex thought about screaming, yelling, but knew she would be risking her life and the lives of her children if she did.

"Do you like this kind of candy?" Armando held out a new, opened package of Starburst, offering the kids the first one—a red one.

Isabel's face lit up and she reached for the small square, smiling.

"No, Izzie!" Theo reprimanded. "Not from strangers!" He pushed her hand down.

The two siblings looked at each other then, Isabel's face red now, scowling, Theo's expression relaying much of the same irritation.

"I want a piece of candy!" she demanded, stomping her right foot.

"Iz…we're going home now to eat lunch," Alex tried, pulling all three kids closer to her body then, hearing the unsteadiness in her own voice, the uncertainty that was being relayed to her children. "No candy right now." She could barely hear her own voice over the pounding of her heart. She looked back at Raul. "Please," she said softly. "Please don't hurt my children."

The two brothers looked at one another and began laughing then.

"Like I said, Ms. Cabot…that mistake you made thirteen years ago…it just can't be forgotten. I got too good a memory. You should have let it go back then and I wouldn't be here right now." He looked at the kids and smiled. "Especially with so much to lose. You should have thought about your future. About your children's futures."

Armando spoke up then. "We all have to pay for our sins, ADA Alexandra Cabot." His mouth turned up into an almost devilish grin, his eyes sparkling.

"Please let my kids go. They know how to get home on their own." Alex leaned over, the palms of her hands on the girls' chests. "Right guys? Remember like Mama and Mommy showed you how? You remember how to get home from here…" she gasped then, her emotions overtaking her body in the form of near-hyperventilation, "…don't you?" She felt her face contort then and her sobs came on full force.

Theo nodded below her and Grace did as well, Isabel only looking up at her in confusion.

Alex stroked their hair again and looked back up at the men. "I beg you to let them go and do whatever you're going to do with me." Alex's mouth quavered violently. "Please…" she whispered.

A trio of elderly people began walking by then and Raul placed his hand on his weapon casually, smiling at the older man and two women as they passed, his eyes glaring at the blonde at the same time.

Once gone, he looked at his brother and then Alex. "Let 'em go…" He motioned his head.

Alex let out a sigh of relief and then she squatted in front of them, putting her hands on her children's shoulders, their waists, trying to find comfort in touching them as she spoke. "Theo go straight home and go to Mrs. Ethan's and call 9-1-1." Alex swallowed, willing her words to come out, her voice to stop shaking, her face to stop contorting. "Go as fast as you can, Baby. OK? I need you to do that, Theo. Take your sisters and go straight there." Alex gasped, her tears coming fast, in torrents, as the rain began lightly and, within a few seconds, it was quickly turning into sheets.

Theo nodded, his own mocha face reddening, his eyes tearing. "What about you? Where are you going?"

"I'll be fine, my boy…" she placed her hand on his cheek, "…but you gotta do this right away. OK? Go straight to her townhouse." She looked at the twins who were both crying now, tears streaming down their faces.

Grace leaned in and hugged her, wrapping her arms around her. "Don't cry, Mommy," their brown-eyed girl soothed.

And then all three were leaned against her, hugging her.

"I wanna go with you, Mommy," Isabel gasped against her. "Can I?"

"Get them out of here!" Raul barked.

The children jolted against her body at the clamor of his tone and then Alex pulled away and looked at the taller brother.

"Go!" he commanded. "Tell them to leave!"

"Go, Babies. Mrs. Ethan's. Right away, my loves. Don't stop." Alex stood then and watched as Theo took his sister's hands and began walking toward the trail that would lead them to the street. All they had to do was walk three streets over and they would be there. They had practiced it, at least, twenty times in the past two years.

Theo looked back and eyed her just as he disappeared around a hedge, his expression uncertain.

"Go, Theo," Alex whimpered, motioning with her hand before hiding her contorting face behind it. "Run..."

"Is the car there?" one of the brothers asked behind her.

"Yeah, it's there."

"Good."

Then a sudden, sharp, burning pain to the back of her head.

And the park, the spot where she had last seen her three children, and the world around her, all went black.


	2. Chapter 2

"Olivia. Stop." Alex smiled, watching Theo push Grace on the swing before moving to Isabel and then repeating the action, over and over again, their little boy trying to be fair and equal when it came to the number of pushes he was doling out.

"Well, let me know and I can call Fin and have him send a patrol car out," Olivia kidded.

"That won't be necessary, Babe. No sign of Big Peter-Peter Pumpkin-Eater here today," Alex looked around and behind her at the branching trails of the park. "Or his trench coat." Alex chuckled. "God, it's so beautiful today, Liv. Not too cold, not too hot. I wish you didn't have to work."

"I know, Al. But I'll be home early. I'm leaving here as soon as Dr. Klein finishes his examination of a new patient and then we'll get her and her son and daughter settled into a room. So it'll be around one."

"Well…" Alex looked at her watch—eleven o'clock— "…how about we go out to dinner tonight? Take the kids to that new Hibachi Teppanyaki grill where they all get a chef's hat and get to see one of those onion volcanoes? They'll love that." Alex smiled as she watched Grace giggling as she went higher and higher.

"That sounds great, Al."

Alex could hear typing then, commotion in the near distance, where her wife was, at Haven House.

"Higher!" Isabel screamed.

"I am!" Theo yelled back before biting his tongue and giving her a hefty push.

"OK, Liv. I'll let you go. But I'll see you soon?"

"OK, Al. I'll call right before I leave to see if you need anything on my way home. OK?"

Alex smiled as she watched the girls get off of the swing and their brother get on one, both of her blondies standing behind him and ready. "Sounds good. I love you."

"Go! Push me!" Theo yelled.

The girls began pushing him with all of their strength, their ponytails already askew, little faces pink with exertion and the rays of the sun, tongues also sticking out as they used all their strength.

"I love you, too, Babe." And Olivia's end disconnected.

Alex ended the call and set the phone face down on her right thigh, still watching the kids from the bench where she was sitting. It was a gorgeous, cool, low-sixties, April morning and they had been in Central Park, just a couple of streets over from Lexington Avenue, for the past two hours and the kids were all beginning to show signs of exhaustion and hunger—little t-shirts and hoodies and jeans worn-in, wind-blown hair all over the place, rosy cheeks, sweat pasted locks around their foreheads.

"OK, guys. Two more minutes and then we're gonna head back home and eat lunch. OK?"

Theo nodded. "OK, Mommy!" He giggled, his grin broad as he swooshed forward. "Yea!"

Alex stood and slipped her cell phone into her back pocket and then folded her arms, looking down at her jeans and navy crew neck sweatshirt, noting a couple of stray Hillary hairs on her top, as she walked slowly toward the graveled section where the kids were. She opened her mouth and yawned and covered it before looking around and then smiling at a couple pushing a stroller as they passed by.

"Come on, guys. Let's go. Off of the swings. Iz, get your jacket. You dropped it, Baby."

Theo and Grace came toward her then and reached out for her hands as Isabel moved to just next to one of the poles of the swing set and retrieved her pink sweat jacket that she had discarded haphazardly only a few minutes ago.

They all began walking down the cemented path then, the trails surprisingly not busy, but the impending rain might have been a factor in what was keeping people away—that and the Tartan Day Parade that was happening at 44th and 6th Street.

Theo let go of her hand and walked in front of her and Isabel took her free hand, each girl now on either side of her.

Thunder rumbled in the distance in the east and it traveled across the sky and Alex looked up at the darkening clouds.

"Mommy. My shoe," Isabel squeaked.

"Well, let's practice tying it, my girl." She looked ahead and called to her son. "Theo, come next to me and let's wait for your sister."

Tying shoes was still a work in progress—especially the twins—and the ladies had been patiently teaching and re-teaching the process, all three having it down at this point, but all needing a little extra time to complete the task.

"Good girl, Iz. You got it." Alex smiled, watching her.

Theo squatted next to a hedge and began picking up a couple of small gray rocks while Grace pulled away from the blonde, their hands still together.

A man came around the corner then, walking a beautifully kept Boxer on a leash. The dog moved to a tree and lifted his leg and did his business, a nice stream exiting.

"That doggie is going to the bathroom, Mommy? On the tree?" Grace's expression was intrigued.

"Yes, Baby." Alex caught eyes with the man and they smiled.

He was young, attractive, shaved head, dark features, most likely Hispanic in ethnicity. His eyes were dark and intense, yet kind.

"Good morning," he smiled, his dog now moving closer and beginning to sniff the blonde's knees before moving to Grace, as well.

Isabel finished her shoes and took Alex's left hand again.

"Good morning." Alex looked at Theo who was still looking for rocks. "Come on, Theo. Let's go, Baby. Before it starts raining."

Theo dutifully walked up to her and looked up at the man, squinting against the sun that was peeking through the gathering clouds.

"He has your eyes," the man offered, pulling the leash and twisting it around his hand to shorten it, bringing his dog closer.

Alex narrowed her eyes at the man. "That's what everyone says."

"Can I pet the dog, Mommy?" Grace looked up at her then, using her hand to shield her eyes.

"It's the man's dog, my love. We need to ask him." Alex looked at Theo who was now watching the dog with interest.

"Do you want to pet him?" The man questioned.

Grace nodded quickly, smiling and Theo did, too, while Isabel moved closer to Alex and rested her right temple on Alex's side. The blonde wrapped her arm around her. "Go ahead, guys. Pet the nice dog."

"His name is Frankie." The man offered. "He's very friendly."

Theo and Gracie squatted down and began petting the canine's short caramel brown fur—carefully, lovingly—their children so good with animals after being around Hillary for so long.

"He's a beautiful dog," Alex smiled, beginning to stroke the crown of Isabel's hair with her left hand.

"Thank you," the man declared.

Thunder rumbled once more, this time lightning accompanying it.

The man looked up. "Looks like it's gonna be a big one." He had a slight accent, perhaps one that he had had since birth that had gently faded away. His gaze went to Alex then. "You probably have a nice, big house, though, to get back to. Keep you safe from the rain. Something fancy, I'm sure."

Alex studied the man now and saw a sudden coldness. She held Isabel's hand tightly. "Come on, Gracie, Theo. Let's let the man go. We need to get home." She held her right hand out and Grace came immediately, placing her own in the blonde's.

"Nice family you have. Beautiful kids. It's nice when a family can stay together and be there for each other."

Alex tried a smile and then moved up to Theo, nudging his backside with her knee. "Let's go, guys." She looked at the man once more. "Have a nice day."

"Did you think that tearing my family apart would end there?"

Alex froze then, the hairs on the back of her neck standing at attention.

"Did you really think that letting my father die in prison wouldn't have consequences?"

Alex's heart began to thud inside of her chest then, her hands beginning to tremble.

"Mommy?" Theo looked up at her, his brow wrinkled. He pressed the back of his head to Alex's stomach, staying close to her now.

Alex smiled down at him. "Let's go, guys. Come on."

"No," the man said, his tone calm. "I wouldn't do that. Besides…you won't get far." He turned slightly to his left to show Alex his back right hip, opening his red and white Fila jacket, the silver glimmer of a pistol peeking from his waistband.

Alex looked back at him, feeling her hands shaking even more now as she held her daughters' hands, feeling her body break out in a cold sweat, feeling her legs weaken beneath her. She steeled herself as she spoke, "My wife is a New York City detective, Sir. I'm not sure what you're trying to pull, but all I have to do is make a phone call and an officer or detective will be here."

He smiled then. "Same detective from thirteen years ago? The one with the short dark hair?"

Alex closed her mouth and swallowed then, not understanding how this man knew anything about her. Out of all of the cases they had closed, of all of the people they had put away, this had to be something that was related to one of those. But which one?

"I was thirteen years old, thirteen years ago, Ms. Cabot." He smiled again. "I was thirteen when my father was murdered in prison. And you're the one who sent him there."

Zapata.

Alex felt her lower lip begin to quaver then, but she clenched her jaw, attempting to stop it and trying to appear strong.

"And I've been keeping up with you. We both have…"

Just then, another man came down the path, into view, a similar look but shorter and more muscular, the same intense darkness to his eyes.

"My brother, Armando. And if I didn't tell you already…I'm Raul." He held his hand to his chest charmingly.

The other man stopped to the right of Grace then and her little girl looked up at him, squinting.

Alex felt her throat close up then and she swallowed hard, willing the tears away.

"Mommy?" Grace questioned.

Alex only smiled down at her, knowing that her face held fear and wasn't comforting in the slightest.

"Mommy, what's happening?" Theo's voice was high, innocent, scared.

"It's OK, Baby," Alex whispered, her voice barely audible.

Raul continued, "The press is a very informative organization. You can find out a lot about people. City workers, police officers, weddings. I spent my own time locked up for the same thing my father was in for." Raul leaned in then, as though telling a secret. "But I was never as bad as him." He grinned. "I guess you could say I continued the family business. Now, I'm out." He grinned and held his arms to the side. "And ready for payback."

Two bikers whizzed by then and Alex thought about screaming, yelling, but knew she would be risking her life and the life of her children if she did.

"Do you like this kind of candy?" Armando held out a new, opened package of Starburst, offering the kids the first one—a red one.

Isabel's face lit up and she reached for the small square, smiling.

"No, Izzie!" Theo reprimanded. "Not from strangers!" He pushed her hand down.

The two siblings looked at each other then, Isabel's face red now, scowling, Theo's expression relaying much of the same irritation.

"I want a piece of candy!" she demanded, stomping her right foot.

"Iz…we're going home now to eat lunch," Alex tried, pulling all three kids closer to her body then, hearing the unsteadiness in her own voice, the uncertainty that was being relayed to her children. "No candy right now." She could barely hear her own voice over the pounding of her heart. She looked back at Raul. "Please," she said softly. "Please don't hurt my children."

The two brothers looked at one another and began laughing then.

"Like I said, Ms. Cabot…that mistake you made thirteen years ago…it just can't be forgotten. I got too good a memory. You should have let it go back then and I wouldn't be here right now." He looked at the kids and smiled. "Especially with so much to lose. You should have thought about your future. About your children's futures."

Armando spoke up then. "We all have to pay for our sins, ADA Alexandra Cabot." His mouth turned up into an almost devilish grin, his eyes sparkling.

"Please let my kids go. They know how to get home on their own." Alex leaned over, the palms of her hands on the girls' chests. "Right guys? Remember like Mama and Mommy showed you how? You remember how to get home from here…" she gasped then, her emotions overtaking her body in the form of near-hyperventilation, "…don't you?" She felt her face contort then and her sobs came on full force.

Theo nodded below her and Grace did as well, Isabel only looking up at her in confusion.

Alex stroked their hair again and looked back up at the men. "I beg you to let them go and do whatever you're going to do with me." Alex's mouth quavered violently. "Please…" she whispered.

A trio of elderly people began walking by then and Raul placed his hand on his weapon casually, smiling at the older man and two women as they passed, his eyes glaring at the blonde at the same time.

Once gone, he looked at his brother and then Alex. "Let 'em go…" He motioned his head.

Alex let out a sigh of relief and then she squatted in front of them, putting her hands on her children's shoulders, their waists, trying to find comfort in touching them as she spoke. "Theo go straight home and go to Mrs. Ethan's and call 9-1-1." Alex swallowed, willing her words to come out, her voice to stop shaking, her face to stop contorting. "Go as fast as you can, Baby. OK? I need you to do that, Theo. Take your sisters and go straight there." Alex gasped, her tears coming fast, in torrents, as the rain began lightly, quickly turning into sheets.

Theo nodded, his own mocha face reddening, his eyes tearing. "What about you? Where are you going?"

"I'll be fine, my boy…" she placed her hand on his cheek, "…but you gotta do this right away. OK? Go straight to her townhouse." She looked at the twins who were both crying now, tears streaming down their faces.

Grace leaned in and hugged her, wrapping her arms around her. "Don't cry, Mommy," their brown-eyed girl soothed.

And then all three leaned against her, hugging her.

"Get them out of here!" Raul barked.

The kids pulled away from Alex then and looked at the taller brother.

"Go!" he commanded.

"Go, Babies. Mrs. Ethan's. Right away, my loves." Alex stood then and watched as Theo took his sister's hands and began walking toward the trail that would lead them to the street. All they had to do was walk two streets over and they would be there. They had practiced it, at least, twenty times in the past two years.

Theo looked back and eyed her just as he disappeared around a hedge, his expression uncertain.

"Go, Theo," Alex whimpered, motioning with her hand before hiding her contorting face behind it.

"Is the car there?" one of the brothers asked behind her.

"Yeah, it's there."

"Good."

Then a sudden, sharp, burning pain to the back of her head.

And the park, the spot where she had last seen her three children, and the world around her, all went black.


	3. Chapter 3

2

Olivia cradled her cell phone against her ear and her neck as the connection rang, this being her fourth time to try and connect to her wife. She slipped her lap top into her bag and then stopped, listening as Alex's voice picked up, yet again.

"You have reached the voice mail of Alexandra Benson-Cabot. I'm not available at present. Please leave a brief message and I'll get back to you shortly."

And then a beep. She hardly ever had to leave a message with her wife.

"Hey, Babe…I don't know if you fell asleep…maybe you're napping?" Olivia smiled. "I'm about to head home and…just…" Olivia hoisted her bag onto her right shoulder, "…call me if you need anything. I'm on my way." Olivia took the phone from her ear and looked at it before depressing the red "X" and then slipping it into her back pocket.

She furrowed her brow as she grabbed her car keys from the top of her desk and then pushed her desk chair in and headed to her office door.

Ikie, the custodian for Haven House was headed her way, cleaning supplies in a bucket in hand, and she smiled.

"You have a good evening, Ms. Olivia," she offered with her Haitian accent.

"Thanks, Ikie. I will. You, too." Olivia walked past her and headed down the hallway, thinking about her inability to connect with her wife. "Oh, and…" she stopped briefly and turned, "…I spilled a little coffee on the floor, but I wiped it up." She smiled. "I think I cleaned it all."

"No problem, Miss. I'll take care of it." Ikie smiled.

"Thanks. See you on Monday." Olivia continued down the hallway, past the front desk, waving to the reception nurse, Heidi, and then headed out the door.

It was unusual. Alex always had her cell phone on or, at least, near her, and not being able to reach her was almost an anomaly.

Olivia pushed the front door open and walked to the parking lot, spotting her Datsun, and then unlocked the doors with her key fob. She moved toward it and opened the driver's side door before moving to the back and opening it. She tossed her bag and purse inside and then shut it, just as her cell phone vibrated in her pocket.

She removed it, got in, and shut the door, looking at the screen. Unknown Name popped up and she hit "decline" before setting her phone on her right thigh, looking ahead at the car in front of her—a black Mercedes—which she knew was owned by Doctor Klein.

She lifted her iPhone once more and decided to call Alex again, punching in the buttons and then lifting it to her ear and waiting.

But this time, something strange happened. The line picked up and then disconnected. Olivia took it from her ear and looked at the screen, reading that the call ended within six seconds.

What's going on? she asked herself before starting the car and shifting into reverse, pulling out of her space to head home and be with her family for the rest of the weekend.

She peeled her eyes open to blackness, quickly shutting them. All was opaque around her and she felt something on her face—fabric? Cotton? Wool? Whatever it was, it had no give, no breathing room, and she quickly felt suffocated and panicked. She tried to move her hands to remove the inhibition from her nose and mouth, but her hands, her wrists were bound, stuck to her sides. She attempted to move her feet, as well, and was met with the same encumbrances.

Her breathing quickened then as she opened her eyes and attempted to lift her head, a shooting, throbbing pain pronounced at the back of her cranium.

The place she had been struck just before everything disappeared.

She felt her eyes water as she lowered her head back onto, what felt like, a softness. Perhaps a pillow?

"She's awake," a male voice said then.

And she heard movement, rustling around, someone advancing toward her.

"Should we take the bag off?" a different male voice questioned.

"No. Leave it on."

She knew that particular voice. It was Raul. The one who had started this whole nightmare that she was currently experiencing, from the park.

Alex closed her eyes again, feeling the tears form in her eyes, feeling her mouth open in anguish, not believing that this was happening to her.

And she breathed, in slowly and out slowly, trying to complete inhales and exhales as the trepidation moved throughout her body, trying to find a normal rhythm once she realized what was actually happening to her.

"I wanna see her face," a foreign, deeper, male voice claimed.

"You'll see her soon, bruh. calm down!" Raul said impatiently.

And then, she felt warmth, a closeness next to her, over her, pressed against her left side.

"Alexandra Cabot." Raul asked. "You awake?"

Alex only gasped then, feeling her heart begin to race once more, a weight on her right hip.

She stuttered then, not quite knowing what to say. "I'm…I'm awake."

Then she felt something on the mask that was around her face, a lifting, a removing of the fabric that was surrounding her.

Then there was a light—not bright, but something. A dimness, as whatever it was that was on her head was removed. And she saw his face again.

She gasped as her facial covering was removed and then she looked at him, trying to accept the air that wanted to travel into her lungs.

She watched him, watching him grin back at her.

"Glad you're awake," he smiled.

Alex swallowed and then closed her eyes, feeling the shooting pain along her lower back and her lower head. She clenched her fists and tried to move her feet once more.

"Nah. You can't move," he added. "We tied you up."

Alex opened her eyes then and looked at him, studying his still-smiling face before moving her gaze to the right, around the room, noticing another male figure, and then further to the right and noticing a female, dressed in a black tank top and dark jeans, long, black hair, pronounced goth make-up, most likely someone who was a girlfriend or accomplice with them, in some fashion.

Alex moved to try and release her hands again, being met with the same hold. "Please…can you?"

Chuckling then. "Untie your hands? Nah…that would make it too easy for you."

Alex thought about her children. Thought about what she had told them to do. Wondering if they had followed her directions and had made it to Mrs. Ethan's.

She felt the tears form in her eyes once more thinking about this fact and then she closed them, swallowing and bracing herself, her face lifting to the ceiling once more.

"You're a fighter," Raul claimed. "and a bleeder…" he offered. "If you feel something on your nose, we had to hit you. Dumb bitch."

Alex moved her lips around then, bringing her mouth down, lowering it and bringing her lips together and feeling a certain sensitivity above it, smelling iron, feeling crusted blood just above her upper lip. "How long…how long have I been here?" she asked.

No answer.

She waited, listening for anything as her eyes remained closed. The pain in the back of her head was unbearable and now she felt the tenderness in her nose, felt the dried crust of blood just below it.

"Two hours?" Raul answered.

"Did my…did my kids…?" she felt her face contort then, not able to finish her sentence.

"Hell, lady. I don't know. That's something I don't give a shit about," Raul informed her.

Alex lifted her face towards the ceiling and she clenched her jaw, feeling the tears fill her eyes, a stray one rolling down past her right cheek.

Theo and Grace and Isabel. She never wanted any of them to ever deal with any of her past cases. Never wanted them to feel the angst or drama, or repercussions of what she had once dealt with. But it seemed that this time, it had been unavoidable.

She decided to stay quiet, especially after hearing his callous remark. He didn't give a damn about their children, about what had become of them.

"Open your fucking eyes!" he bellowed.

"Yeah, she's a hottie," the other voice claimed. "For an old lady."

"Fuck you, Pedro! We're not here for this!" Raul yelled.

"Is she OK?" a female voice questioned.

Alex gasped and then tried to open her eyes and look toward the feminine voice, not seeing anything in the darkness.

She closed her eyes again, feeling the tears form, feeling the warm saltiness stream down her cheeks.

Alex clenched her hands then, trying to lift them from their hold once more.

"I don't give a shit what we're here for. She's definitely fuckable," the lower male voice claimed.

Alex clenched her jaw then and then lifted her chin, her thoughts, her worst nightmares playing out in her mind.

She smelled food then, something savory, and she thought of her children once more, hoping and praying that they had made it to Mrs. Ethan's safely and had relayed some sort, any sort of information, to the elderly woman to get her out of here. Out of this situation, out of this circumstance, something that would get her rescued and returned back to her family and back to the life that she wished to be a part of so badly.

Olivia pulled into the garage at 1:13 p.m. and then closed the door behind her. She placed her car in park and then removed the key from the ignition, lifting her cell phone again. No calls.

She exited the car and then moved to the back seat and retrieved her bag and purse and shut the door, her mind still running.

Moving to the door that would lead her to the kitchen, the entryway, of their home, as she opened it and then closed it behind her, listening.

"Alex?" she called.

No sound.

Not one iota of noise in their townhouse as she moved to the island and listened.

She set her bag and purse on the island and stopped, removing her blazer and placing it on top of everything before listening once more.

"Al?" she asked.

Nothing.

The townhouse was quieter than she had ever heard it. Even the refrigerator was silent, the appliance normally making a humming, any sound to let them know that it was still working.

Her phone vibrated in her back pocket then and she removed it, looking at the screen.

Catherine Ethan.

Their neighbor two doors down. The woman who was widowed, three grown children of her own, in her late seventies. A woman they had befriended and knew to call on in emergency situations.

Olivia slid the screen and put it to her ear. "Hello? Catherine?"

"Olivia?" her meek voice questioned.

"Yes? Is everything OK?"

"Theo is here. Your twins, too. They've been with me for a little while, but I don't understand what they're saying. Can you come over?"

Olivia's heart rate began to sky rocket then. "Yeah, I'm on my way. Is everything OK?"

"Just…just come here, dear. Your children are here and I think you need to hear what they're telling me."

Olivia's heart froze then and she paused then. "Of course, Mrs. Ethan. I'm on my way."


	4. Chapter 4

Olivia jogged up the six steps to the brownstone three doors down and then stopped at the door. She knocked three times and then took a step back, hand adjusting the pistol on her right hip that she had just put on, along with her badge.

She couldn't fight the feeling that something was seriously wrong, that something had happened, and that she would soon be waist deep in something significant.

Movement now on the other side of the door, a blurry advancing of whites and grays, the image of Mrs. Ethan coming further into view. The door opened and she was met with the five-foot-two woman with kind, blue eyes.

"Mrs. Ethan," Olivia breathed, trying a smile.

"Come on in, Dear. Theo and Grace and Isabel are all on the sofa in the living room." She closed the door behind her and the two began walking down the hallway. "I gave them something to eat—a couple of ham and Swiss cheese sandwiches—because they said they were hungry. But Theo didn't eat much."

"That was kind of you, Mrs. Ethan. Thank you for doing that," Olivia offered, peering over the top of her neighbor's petite frame as they walked and focusing on the upcoming living room.

The kids saw her and immediately all got up, running to her. She squatted and held them all in her arms, feeling and hearing them so happy to see her, yet more than emotional. She pulled away, Theo in the middle, and placed her hands on the girls' hips, looking at all three.

"Mommy went with a man," Isabel said first.

"What?" Olivia questioned. "What man, Baby? Who?"

The kids looked at her then, pure emotion on their faces. Theo's eyes were filled with tears.

Olivia stood and held out her hands. "Come over here and tell Mama exactly what happened." She led them to the sofa and they all got seated, Olivia perched on the edge on the end.

"Start from the beginning and tell Mama everything you can remember."

Mrs. Ethan sat in a separate recliner caddy corner to the three-sectioned sofa.

Olivia swallowed, watching all three of them. Grace moved into her, practically climbing on her lap, and buried her head against the brunette's chest.

"A man had a dog…" Theo started.

"Another man had candy and Theo wouldn't let me have any!" Isabel scowled.

"What did the man say?" Olivia asked. "Do you remember?"

Theo spoke up. "He said his doggie was friendly and I had Mommy's eyes."

Olivia smiled, trying to be patient. "What else, Theo?" She looked at the twins. "What else did he say?"

Theo's eyes filled with even more tears then. "He said his daddy died and it was Mommy's fault."

Olivia's heart rate increased then as she studied her son. "What else, Baby?"

Theo moved into her then and threw himself into her upper chest, holding her.

"What else, did he say, Theo? Please…" Olivia felt her own emotions then, so desperately trying to gather any information.

"He said he was thirteen when his daddy died. That he was getting paid back?"

Payback, Olivia thought.

"Then Mommy said to let us go and I think she went with the men." Grace offered against her.

Olivia looked up at Mrs. Ethan then, the old woman's face concerned. "Did they tell you anything?"

Mrs. Ethan shook her head. "They wanted to dial 9-1-1, but I thought I'd call you, Dear, and see if you knew what was going on first. I know only to use that number in an emergency and you're a police officer, so I thought calling you was better."

Olivia smiled. "And I'm glad you did."

"Mommy said to come to Mrs. Ethan's and call 9-1-1 and I wanted to," Theo sobbed now, "…but she said to wait…I'm sorry I didn't call, Mama…" Theo cried against her.

Olivia watched Grace's thumb go into her mouth then and Isabel moved closer to her brother, patting his back gently.

"No, Theo. It's OK. You did good, Babies." Olivia kissed the tops of their heads, their cheeks. She looked at Mrs. Ethan then. "I need to make a call to the station and let them know what's happening." Olivia nodded.

She started to get up but was met with her children clenching her hips, willing their mother's body to remain there.

"Is Mommy OK?" Grace's voice was tiny, high-pitched before her thumb returned to her mouth.

"I wanna see Mommy!" Isabel cried. "I wanted to go with her but the man said for us to go home."

"It's OK, my loves. You're safe and we're gonna find your Mommy. Don't worry." She looked down at them, beginning to struggle even more with her children's overwhelming angst. "Hey…"

The kids pulled away then and she smiled at them.

"OK? We're gonna find her."

The kids studied her and nodded and then Olivia moved to stand. "Stay here. Mama's gonna make a phone call to Uncle Fin." She slipped her cell phone from her back pocket and moved slowly down the hallway as she found the number and hit the green phone icon.

She entered the front sitting room—the townhouse a similar layout to her own—and then stood, looking out through the front window that was facing the street.

"Liv? Everything OK?" Fin's voice was instantly concerned.

She immediately felt a flood of emotion then, not believing that this was happening. But she needed to get herself together and keep herself together. She sniffed and wiped below her nose.

"Hey, Fin. Uh, no…we have a problem." She felt her mouth quiver. "It's Alex. I think she's been abducted."

"Abducted?" Fin's voice level rose. "Whatchoo mean, Liv?"

"Um…she was in the park with the kids and they said two men were there and the men told them to leave…and Alex…" Olivia took a deep breath as she closed her eyes.

"Slowly, Liv. Tell me…" Fin's voice was calm, soothing.

"…Alex is gone. Disappeared." Olivia pinched the bridge of her nose. "I think it might be …from what I can gather…a past case. Theo said the man said something about payback."

Her legs felt like jelly but this wasn't a time to fall apart. She cleared her throat and took another deep breath.

"I need a patrol car here and we're gonna take the kids back to the park to show us where it happened, see if we can find anything, any clues, and maybe they'll remember something more when we do."

"Yeah, and maybe someone saw something. A passerby. I gotcha, Liv. I'm on my way and I'll send a couple of unis. Do you need me to call anyone about the kids? Have someone come over and stay with them for afterwards?"

Olivia tried a smile, her lips shaking. "Call Casey…"

"Melinda can watch them," Fin offered.

"That'd be great. We're a couple of doors down, but we'll head to where she was…" a lump formed in the brunette's throat then and she took a short breath, gasping, "…where she was last seen."

Olivia nodded, almost trying to convince herself that this was procedural, just a case to be solved. Only what she felt was extreme trepidation in the pit of her stomach.

"Liv…I'll be there soon. Head over there. I'll call Melinda."

"Thanks, Fin," she whispered.

The TV was loud. The music was loud. Both blaring simultaneously. Booming bass from Reggaeton music and what sounded like a soccer game. Raucous laughter to her right in the near distance, the smell of food again—garlic? Corn? Beef?

The men were virtually shouting as they spoke, arguing about some players on the team, yelling every time something happened in the game. And there was another distinct smell, as well.

She definitely smelled marijuana, the smoke entering her own nose and lungs and that, in combination with the strike to her head, had her feeling woozy, dizzy, and slightly nauseated.

And she was thirsty. Her mouth felt dry, gritty, her tongue like sandpaper.

She continued to stare up at the ceiling, jaw clenched as she jerked her limbs once more in her restraints—what she realized now to be rough rope—teeth gritted, hoping that one of the times that she did so, she might actually get herself free.

But what if she did? What then?

There was nowhere to go. At least one of them had a weapon and she was defenseless against three men. She had no fighting skills, had never taken any self-defense classes, and she would never be able to dominate men whose mass was bigger than her, their size more muscular than her, and she knew that the idea was pointless.

She felt and heard movement then and looked at the foot of the bed where she was lying to see the young woman, arms folded, studying her. The woman moved closer then and stood to her left, Alex only watching her.

Neither of them said anything, only looked at one another.

She had a sleeve of black tattoos on her right arm, but not on her left, only a small cross on the back of her left wrist. Her eye make-up was dark and what she had initially thought was gothic, upon closer inspection now, she saw that it was just heavy, her lips a bright reddish mauve. Her gold hoop earrings glimmered slightly as she moved even closer, catching the small amount of light in the room.

"Where…" Alex cleared her throat and swallowed, "…where are we?"

The woman smiled then. "We're in Raul's mansion. The lap of luxury."

Alex studied the woman again.

"Hey, Rosa!" Raul's voice then. "Don't talk to her! Get your ass back over here!"

Rosa turned her head. "Shut up, Raul!" She looked back at Alex.

"Not a nice way to treat his girlfriend," Alex commented.

"I ain't his girlfriend. I'm Armando's girl."

"Still…" Alex looked over at the men at the small card table and watched as Raul got up and wiped his mouth.

He moved directly toward Rosa and then grabbed her hair at the back of her head and yanked it, beginning to drag her away from the area and toward the kitchen. "I said don't talk to her!" Once in the kitchen, he let her go with force, her middle back almost slamming into the kitchen counter. "And if you talk to me like that again…" he sat back down at the table and lifted what looked like a folded tortilla, "…so help me…Armando you need to keep your girl in check, bruh. No woman should be allowed to talk like that." He took a large bite and began chewing, his eyes now on Alex.

Alex looked back up at the ceiling, noting, for the hundredth time, the numerous cracks in the plaster, along with light brown water damage stains.

"And you…" Raul started.

Alex only continued to keep her focus above her.

"Hey, bitch. I'm talking to you!" Raul bellowed.

Alex turned her head then, glaring at him.

"Don't get any ideas about trying to get in good with Rosa. She might be a dog but she's a loyal dog."

"Fuck you, Raul!" Armando spouted.

A scuffle in the kitchen then, the two brothers beginning to wrestle, the card table screeching across the floor, plates being flipped, hands around necks. Then a punch was thrown—Raul to Armando—right in the eye, and then Raul's hands were around Armando's neck, beginning to choke him.

Rosa begged, pleaded, for Raul to stop, even going so far as to try to pull him off of her boyfriend, but Raul quickly shoved her away again. Then, as if nothing had happened, he let go of his brother's neck, backed away, and sat down once more, continuing to eat.

Rosa threw her hands in the air. "I can't do this!"

"Can't do what, Rosa?" Armando questioned.

Rosa grabbed her jean jacket and began putting it on. "I can't do this…this here with you…you have an innocent woman here, Raul." She grabbed her purse from the small sofa and slung it over her shoulder. "What are you gonna do with her, huh? You have her here now. What are you gonna do now?"

"What the fuck do you care, Rosa?" Raul questioned, lighting the end of a blunt and inhaling deeply.

"I don't care, Raul…" she looked at Alex, "…but it's not right. You said she has kids. You said you don't want her money. What then? We'll just starve her until she dies? Then what?" Rosa headed to the door and placed her hand on the knob and turned, opening it.

Within seconds, Raul was up, slamming the door shut and grabbing Rosa by her hair again. He dragged her as she held onto her scalp, to the small sofa next to the bed and shoved her onto it. He lifted his hand and brought it down hard on her cheek, her face jerking to the right, blood flying.

And then she was still, her head lolled to the side, resting on the back of the sofa. She was out cold.

Raul looked at Alex then and moved toward her, breathing heavily, arms slightly out, hands clenching.

"What do you want from me?" Alex questioned, feeling the tears in her eyes.

"What do I want from you?" He raised his eyebrows. "I want you to suffer," His mouth twisted, the anger spread across his face. "I want you to know what it's like to not be able to be there with your family. What it feels like when you don't have that choice." He squatted down next to her then and let his eyes roam along her horizontal body before moving his gaze back to her face. "I just want you to suffer." He raised his eyebrows and smiled. "That's about it." He placed his hand on her wrist then, letting his fore and middle fingers rest on her pulse point. "Tell me, Ms. Cabot…do you know how long the human body can go without food?"

Alex swallowed hard, the dryness making this action difficult, and she continued to stare at him, unwavering.

"Three weeks," he answered, smiling. He then let the same fingers begin to lightly touch her wedding and engagement rings, delicately tracing them. "But do you know how long a human can go without water?" His eyes pierced into her now.

Alex clenched her left hand, not wanting him to touch the jewelry that meant so much to her. Wishing he would move further away. The scent of garlic and pot on his breath was intense, overpowering, sickening.

"Three to four days, Ms. Cabot." He began to try and straighten her fingers then.

Alex clenched her hand tighter as he used his strength to try and unfold them.

"And then your organs start shutting down, one at a time." He pried her ring finger away from her palm then.

Alex felt her rings being pulled off as Raul forcibly dragged them down her finger. She gritted her teeth and felt the tears coming on again.

"I wouldn't cry, Ms. Cabot. You're losing water. You need all you can save."

Alex looked at him then, determination on her face. "Why do you want my wedding and engagement rings? I thought you were a drug lord like your father," she spat.

Raul laughed and slipped the two pieces of white gold into his front white, T-shirt pocket. "Do I look like I'm rich to you, Alexandra? Living here in this shit hole?"

Alex let her thumb run along her now naked finger, not remembering its absence ever feeling so foreign. He had her rings now—two items in her life that were replaceable materialistically, but not sentimentally—and it killed her.

She thought of Olivia. She thought of her children. She thought of her life and everything that they had built together and she couldn't help but close her eyes and let the tears roll down her face.

The kids had led them to the James Michael Levin Playground, a common spot for the ladies to take the kids. It was at 77th and 5th Avenues and not far from their home, but the kids had to cross Park Avenue, a heavily trafficked street, at a busy time of the day.

Still, they had taught them and the kids had used what they had learned and were now safe.

A team of officers, including Rollins, Carisi, and Fin had been canvassing the area, looking for clues, talking with park goers, trying to get any sort of tips they could—anything that would lead them to her wife's whereabouts. But so far, in the hour and a half that they had been there, no one had seen anything, no one had heard anything.

They stood on the sidewalk next to 5th street now, the kids having gone with Melinda a little while prior, and looked around at the traffic, the people entering the park.

"Dodds is probably gonna take you off the case," Carisi offered, looking around.

"Not gonna happen, Carisi. I'm staying on this one." Olivia took her small notepad from her back pocket.

Carisi looked up, pointing. "Street cameras might give us something if we look back at the footage." He looked back at Olivia. "What time were they here?"

"According to my phone, Alex called me at about 10:45 and we ended the call around 11." Olivia looked up at the cameras—counting four altogether—and then wrote those times on her small pad of paper, along with the locations of the cameras.

"So, figure she talked with the guys for about ten, fifteen minutes. Then we should look at the footage from 11:10 and on for any signs of her."

Olivia's eyes glazed over then and she thought of her wife being dragged into a car, against her will, possibly knocked out in order to do so, and she felt her emotions come on quickly, a lump forming in her throat.

"Hey, Liv…" Carisi put his hand on her shoulder and she jumped slightly, refocusing and looking at him, "…we'll find her…" He smiled, his blue eyes sparkling.

Olivia clenched her jaw and nodded then. "I know we will."

"Hey, Detectives!" a voice called from behind them then, about one-hundred feet from them.

Olivia and Carisi began jogging towards the voice of a rookie officer.

"We found some blood," he declared, hands on his hips, his eyes moving to the ground.

Olivia moved closer and squatted, inspecting the four drops of blood on the concrete.

"I don't know if it's something or nothing, but…" the officer began.

"We need CSU here to swab and test it," Olivia ordered before standing.

And her knees buckled then. As much as she had been trying to keep it together, to remain calm and professional in order to find her wife, she knew, mentally, she wasn't OK.

Carisi and the officer moved in quickly to catch her, holding her by the upper arms and waist.

Another officer came around the corner, holding up a baggie with, what looked like, a cell phone inside. "Found this in the bushes. Looks like someone stomped on it."

It was Alex's cell phone. She knew that Minions iPhone case anywhere. It was a gift to her from Theo just this past Christmas.

And then, without warning, her heart raced, a cold sweat broke out along her forehead and above her upper lip and a wave of nausea rolled throughout her body as the most unimaginable thoughts raced through her mind, wondering if she would ever see her wife alive again and if the kids would ever get to feel the love of their blonde mother again.


	5. Chapter 5

4

Alex turned her head to the right and looked past Armando and Pedro who were playing dominoes at the kitchen table, and peered at the digital clock on the microwave in the kitchen, squinting just right, her eyes narrowing into slits, as she tried to see the glowing, yellow digits without her specs.

6:47 p.m.

Her glasses had been gone, off of her face, since she first opened her eyes and she had no idea where they were. She had them in the park, but after that it was a mystery. So seeing anything past three of her own arm spans was almost impossible—blurry and fuzzy.

Raul was in the bedroom just beyond the tiny kitchen and Rosa was in there with him. And they had been in there for a couple of hours.

The cot-like metal bed—no more than two-feet by six-feet in size—had her feet just barely hanging off with where her head was positioned, her wrists held against her sides around her hip circumference and then adhered to the metal of the head railings. Her ankles were bound together and that rope was tied to the foot railing. After having been on what must have been a child's cot, or perhaps an old army surplus cot, for over seven hours, she was feeling the effects of being immobile, being unable to stretch, being unable to move, and this combination was slowly beginning to have an ill-effect on her body. And so now, along with the throbbing pain in the back of her head, she was also experiencing the creeping stabbing that was traveling upward from her lower back and toward the middle.

And now her stomach was beginning to growl. She had been hungry earlier and then that had passed and now she was having that recurring sensation once more—twisting, burning, nagging discomfort.

She hadn't been offered food. Wasn't expecting it. And she hadn't been offered water and she was beginning to think that, perhaps, Rosa's estimation of letting her starve and dehydrate to death might not be far off from what they had planned for her.

She swallowed and looked back up at the ceiling, the images of her three children standing below her in the park, their expressions so uncertain, popped into her head.

No. She shut her eyes quickly.

She didn't want to think about them. Didn't want to become emotional from what they had experienced. Didn't want to allow her mind to travel to the what if they forgot the way?, what if they didn't make it to Mrs. Ethan's?, and the what if this happened?, and so the minute her beautiful babies entered her mind she quickly wished them away.

A gentle knocking at the door then and Alex looked at Pedro and Armando at the table and they froze.

"Es abuelita, Raul! Armando?"

"Abuelita," Armando whispered. "Un momento!" he called.

Within seconds, the two men were standing, Armando clearing the beer bottles and tossing the pot butts in the trash.

"¡Tengo comida, mi amor! ¡Abre la puerta!" she called through the door.

Alex's heart began to jump then at the prospect of, perhaps, being seen, rescued.

"¡Apurarse! Pedro! ¡Ir!" Armando motioned in a sweeping movement with his arm into the living room.

She watched as Pedro grabbed a thick, dark brown blanket and moved toward her, his eyes focused.

"Don't say shit!" he ordered. "And don't fucking move!"

His weight on top of her then, cumbersome, rendering her immobile. His hips pressing into her own, knees digging into her mid-thighs, his massive belly a separate weight in and of itself, his left hand clamping over her mouth. Her breathing came out in heavy bursts now, her lungs trying to catch some air, his extra pounds and forceful, sudden motions coming out of nowhere. He was easily two-fifty to three-hundred pounds compared to her one-thirty as his crushing weight landed on top of her.

He reached down behind him and pulled the blanket up to cover both of them, lifting the pillow quickly and placing his head on the left side and covering her face with the other half, his palm still a vice on her mouth.

"Shut the fuck up! he grunted.

Alex heard the door open and pleasantries were exchanged and Alex could hear kissing and hugging and happiness.

She struggled to turn her head to the left, Pedro trying to keep it facing upward, but she finally managed, his rough skin pressing firmly along her mouth, her neck muscles screaming from exertion, trying to find a modicum of air from the small lifting of the pillow that the height of her head was creating, and she inhaled through her nose.

"Where is Raul, mi amor?"

"Here I am, Abuelita!" his chipper voice beamed.

Alex heard more greetings and kissing.

"I brought you arroz con pollo y empanadas," her sweet, broken-accented voice offered.

"Thank you, Abuelita!" Raul claimed enthusiastically.

Pedro's weight was stifling, the heat from the blanket adding to her discomfort, and now she could feel another protrusion, becoming more firm, pressing against her lower belly. She closed her eyes and swallowed hard, trying to shift a little, ease the pain she was now feeling even more intensely at the back of her head and along her spine.

"Who is sleeping?" her voice asked. "Is Pedro?"

"Yeah, Abuela. That's Pedro!" Armando chirped. "Él está muy cansado. ¿Demasiada cerveza?" he questioned.

"Pedro always has too much beer. Right Pedro?" Raul called.

Alex felt his hand leave from beneath the blanket to her left, and then felt a small entry of cooler air as he must have waved to her.

"¿Do I smell drogas, tambien?" Abuelita asked.

"No, no!" Raul offered. "No drugs, Grandma!"

"Porque, si there are drogas aqui…"

A gasp from Abuelita then. "¿Qué pasó, Rosa?"

"Rosa just…" Raul's voice then, as Rosa must have just entered, "…she fell coming out of Felipe's on the corner. Fell on the steps."

Silence then for a few seconds before Abuelita's voice. "¿Estás bien, Rosa? You are OK?"

"Si, Senora Zapata. Estoy bien. I'm OK."

"Pues…" Abuelita began, "…I have to go a la Iglesia. How long you have been?"

"Uh, Abuelita. Por favor…" Armando tried.

"¿Este domingo? Sunday come to church?" she asked.

"Si, Abuelita," Raul agreed. "Este domingo."

Alex heard kisses again and goodbyes and then felt the overwhelming desire to move, to jerk, to try and make herself known.

After all, they wouldn't hurt their grandmother, would they?

Alex jolted her knees and arms simultaneously and heard a grunting on top of her, his hand clamping down harder on her mouth, and she fought the urge to moan from pain.

Alex heard the door close and the two brothers released a sigh of relief.

"Jesus. That was close," Raul declared. "Hey, Pedro. Get off her now! Let's go!" A couple of snaps.

Alex continued to lay there, the massive heaviness on top of her not budging. Then, the air again, the blanket being lifted up and off. Then a hand on her left breast, a shifting of weight to her right side, the pillow coming off of her face, his left hand being removed from her mouth. She gasped and opened her eyes, blinking several times.

And she looked up at him. He was so close she could see the blackhead-filled pores on his nose, the dark black follicles of a five-o' clock shadow, his two, sweaty chins just inches from her.

He squeezed her flesh through her sweatshirt in his hand and smiled, pressing his erection into her right, upper thigh then before letting his hand move to her right breast and do the same thing.

She clenched her jaw and stared, unwaveringly, at him. "Don't touch me," she hissed calmly.

He only smiled at her and then moved his mouth closer, his lips almost touching her own, before Raul yelled.

"Get the fuck off, Pedro!"

Pedro turned his face toward the kitchen as a drop of sweat rolled down and off of his chin and fell onto her neck. "Well, she's not yours either, Raul. Someone has to have her." He looked at her again. "Can't let this go to waste." He smiled back down at her. "I'll bet you would feel real good…"

Then, thudding footsteps, Pedro's body lifting off of her, a coolness floating over the expanse of her front half, and she gasped again as she let the air enter her lungs fully once more.

The front door opened and Alex looked in that direction.

"Go cool off, Pedro!" Raul advised. "I told you, that's not what we're here for." Raul looked at his friend's crotch and then back into his face. "Go. Get out of here. Go get some more beer!"

"And I'm getting some condoms, too. Because if you're not gonna do her, I am!"

Raul looked at her then. "Nah. Knowing how these rich white bitches are, she might enjoy it too much. Especially from a fat fuck like you."

Pedro smirked and then hiked up the waistband of his jeans before he headed out the door and Raul slammed it behind him.

Alex swallowed hard again and watched Raul and Armando begin to remove containers from a brown paper bag on the kitchen table.

She turned her head back, eyes going to the ceiling again and, even though she didn't want it, her family's faces flashed into her mind once more—all of them, her wife smiling that amazingly gorgeous smile, her twins' toothless, cheerful grins, Theo's sweet face and eyes that were filled with such love—and she closed her eyes and cried, letting her fear, her despair, and her hopelessness spill out of her once more.

Olivia leaned over and narrowed her eyes at the screen as she looked over the shoulder of Ruben Morales, the TARU tech.

Olivia swallowed as she watched Alex, being held up by each underarm, being carried, feet dragging, and then being literally thrown into the very back of a silver, Toyota 4runner. "Freeze it right there."

Olivia, Fin, and Morales studied the frozen image on the screen.

"And there had to have been a third person—the driver," Olivia said softly, nodding, her eyes remaining fixed on the frozen image of the rear of the car, back door raised, but the license plate still visible. "Blow that up and print it. We need to get an APB out for that SUV."

"I'll get that out right away," Morales offered, lifting his desk phone and beginning to speak.

Olivia stood erect and placed her hands into her front pockets and shook her head as she and Fin just looked at each other. The brunette looked back at the screen, squinting, just as Morales hung up the phone.

"All done," he claimed.

Olivia pointed to the screen. "OK. Press play…"

The three watched as the two men then quickly hopped in the back with her, slammed the back door, and then drove off—not too quickly, not too slowly—and out of sight.

"They turned onto 77th Street before they disappeared," Fin offered.

"Let's get on that and…have you heard back about the blood?" Olivia and Fin turned to leave. The brunette detective turned back slightly and raised her hand to Morales. "Thanks, Morales. I owe you one."

They continued walking down the hallway of the first floor and toward the doors.

"Nothing on the blood, yet...hey, Liv…" Fin began.

"What?" Olivia answered, distracted.

He pushed the door open for her and they kept walking, their navy Caprice parallel parked right in front of them.

The clicking of the doors unlocking was heard and Olivia pulled up on the handle, opened it, and slipped inside. She closed the door and tugged at her seat belt before she locked it and then put her sunglasses on, Fin doing the same next to her.

"Liv…" Fin started again.

Olivia laughed and looked at her partner, almost incredulously. "What, Fin?"

"I just want you to know something. Two things..." He smiled that warm, charming smile.

Olivia softened and tried a smile back. She took a deep breath and relaxed slightly.

"One…we're gonna find her. I can feel it."

Olivia swallowed, focusing on her partner's eyes. "And two?"

"Two…you're not gonna like who's gonna talk to you when we get back to the 1-6. I have nothing to do with it, but I want you to be prepared."

Olivia furrowed her brow and turned to look through the front window. She shook her head. "No, Fin." She continued shaking her head as she moved her gaze to the right, through the passenger window. "I have to stay on this one. I have to be a part of it." She felt her eyes fill with tears then. "I have to do everything I can to be involved in this and find her…" Olivia gasped then, "…as soon as possible…"

A hand on her forearm then. "I get it, Baby Girl…but those kids of yours? They need you, too. But they gotta have one solid at home with them."

Olivia felt her lower lip tremble then, her brow knitted in conflict as she looked back at her mocha detective friend.

"And we have three completely capable cops working on this around the clock, Liv. Including Dodds. And as much of an asshole as he is…"

Olivia wiped below her nose with the back of her hand and sniffed.

"…we know he's the best, too."

Olivia closed her eyes and leaned her head back.

"Right?"

Olivia nodded and then opened her eyes again, looking at Fin. "You're right, Fin. But you gotta let me know everything you find. Anything that comes in. And tell Dodds I'll be back tomorrow morning. No questions asked."

Fin crossed his heart with his left forefinger. "You have my word, Liv. Always for you."

Olivia felt her tears come on again. "Thanks, Fin…"

His hand went to the back of her neck then, squeezing gently. "You got it…"

The brunette unhooked her belt and then leaned over. They hugged and Olivia could feel the comfort of her long-time partner and knew that he only wanted what was best for she and Alex and their children.

That was something about Fin that never faltered.

"Car was found, abandoned, in East Harlem. They canvassed the area within a mile—knocking on doors, checking apartments and houses—and found nothing. No sign. So they must have gotten another car somehow to make a transfer or had someone else pick them up."

"Or dropped Alex off first...any cameras where the car was dropped? Anyone see anything?" Olivia questioned, putting her chin on top of her fisted hand on the kitchen table as she watched Theo work on a drawing of the ocean on her right and the twins working on their own crayon pictures on her left—Grace drawing a cat and Isabel drawing a vase of flowers.

Melinda had picked them up at the park and she had watched them for the rest of the afternoon, the three being off for a student holiday, hence Alex being with them at the park that morning.

"Nah, Liv. Not one real camera there. Landlords are too cheap to have real ones. No one who saw the car or anyone who saw two Hispanic guys and a tall blonde woman. Tight-lipped. Could have been threatened, though."

"OK, Fin. Oh, and did you tell Dodds I'd be there tomorrow?" Olivia looked down at her ensemble of a loose, white t-shirt and gray jogging pants, her feet bare, before she reached for her glass of ice water then and took a sip.

"I told him and he just gave me that look. That, 'I'm gonna talk to her' look."

Olivia set her glass down, nodding. "Well, I don't care what he says, Fin, I'm coming in tomorrow."

"But, Liv, you're usually home on Saturdays, with the kids, as a family."

Olivia's eyes glazed over as she watched Isabel, their little blue-eyed girl resembling her wife so much.

"Liv?"

"Without Alex here, I just…" She didn't know what she wanted to say after that and so she didn't finish her sentence.

"I know, Liv."

"Call me with anything else?" Olivia raised her eyebrows.

"Sure thing. Talk to you later."

"Later, Fin." Olivia ended the call and placed her iPhone face up on the kitchen table.

She watched her children, all busy, now beginning to talk about a TV show and something funny that happened on it today.

She smiled as she thought of her wife, the looks they would have been exchanging at a time like this as the children spoke so randomly, the smirk on her face and she felt her mouth begin to quaver with the thought.

Theo looked up at her then and set his blue crayon down and hopped off of his kitchen chair and moved around and toward her. He leaned against her right side and wrapped his arms around her and the brunette began to release, finally letting out the emotions she had been holding inside.

The twins joined their brother in the group hug and they held each other tightly.

The kids didn't know the details, but they could definitely sense something. From their brunette mother's demeanor and the conversations she had already had with her partner, they knew that Alex was not there and they knew Olivia was upset. And that was all they needed to know at present.

"Can I sleep in your bed tonight?" Theo questioned against her.

"Wh…?" Olivia began before stopping herself. She began to stroke their hair, their backs, kissing their hair with love and gentleness. "You can all stay in our bed tonight, OK?"

Theo pulled away, eyebrows raised. "Really?"

Olivia smiled and then brought her lips inward, nodding, feeling her eyes fill with more tears.

They hugged her again, holding on tightly. She knew she needed them there with her that night, feeling their warmth. And she also knew they needed it too—especially her comfort and security.

They all needed anything to help them get through this one minute at a time, one hour at a time. Until they found her wife alive, well, and safely at home once more.


	6. Chapter 6

5

Olivia jolted and squeezed the vibrating and dinging device in her right palm, her eyes still closed. She opened them slowly, blinking a few times, and then looked down at the weight on top of her, the sheets completely off of her body. Theo was off to her right side, near the edge, on his back, mouth open, arms out, knees bent, feet together, and Grace was on her right side, huddled into her, little right leg hiked over her brunette mother's right thigh, while Isabel had somehow turned all the way upside down, her head resting on Olivia's ankles, on her left.

The brunette looked down at her white camisole and gray leggings as she yawned again, not realizing that her mind felt groggy, exhausted, and she knew she hadn't slept well. But at least she had slept.

Olivia smiled at her children, all breathing heavily, all in such a deep, contented sleep.

She yawned as she lifted her cell phone and looked at the screen, pressing the home button and seeing that she had a new text message from Fin saying GM. It was only 7:02 a.m. and she knew that if he was contacting her this early, they might have something.

She typed in a return message, simply saying GM. Anything? and then switched her phone to her left hand and set it on the empty space to the left of her head.

She ran her fingers through her hair as she looked back to her right and watched as Theo opened his eyes and stretched, eyes scrunched as he let out a high-pitched squeak and Olivia smiled again as his blue eyes looked at her, smiling,

"Hey, Baby. Good morning," Olivia said softly as she reached her hand out.

Theo moved closer before moving up near the brunette's upper chest and cuddling into her shoulder as best as he could, trying to take up any space that Grace wasn't occupying. She wrapped her arm around him and kissed his forehead.

"How are you, my boy?" Olivia began to stroke his hair.

Theo nodded against her and she could hear him beginning to breathe deeply once more, his warm breath on her upper bicep, realizing he was falling back to sleep. Her cell phone pinged and vibrated again and she reached over and lifted it, maneuvering it with one hand to read it.

Nothing yet. I'll keep you posted.

Olivia placed the phone on her mid belly and looked up at the ceiling, the fan on low. She wanted to get up. She wanted to be ready to go in to work. She needed to tell Jonathan and Casey something.

She needed to tell Cathy and Bill Cabot something. Eventually.

Olivia thought about having to share the current situation with Alex's family. She knew that Jonathan would be upset and Casey, as well. But they would be level-headed about it. Rational. Hopeful.

But the elder Cabots, on the other hand—especially Cathy—would be more than hysterical. When it came to overreacting, Mrs. Cabot was one of the best, and having to share the news that her only daughter was missing wasn't something she was looking forward to.

She lifted her upper body, Theo stirring and sitting up slightly before she encouraged him to lay back down.

"Go back to sleep, sweet boy," she whispered before leaning over and kissing his cheek. She easily lifted Grace from her body and their little girl returned to slumber, as well. Olivia climbed over Isabel and then stood, moving to grab her robe from the foot bench and placing it on and tying it.

She folded her arms and watched their children again, so peaceful, and she felt her eyes begin to water, hoping and praying that today would be the day that her wife came back home and all would be normal once more.

Alex's eyes fluttered against the golden glow of sunlight on her left, peeking in through the mini-blinds. Her eyelids flickered briefly before closing again.

Theo was crying. Harder than she had ever witnessed. His face was bright red, a vein in his forehead bulging, tears streaming down his cheeks. He didn't say anything, just wailed a high-pitched, inconsolable cry as he looked at her.

His image began moving away then, in slow motion, and she saw that he was reaching out to her. She held her hands out to try and take his, but suddenly noticed that she had knives for hands, instead, and she pulled them back immediately.

Then, coming into view as her son's image continued to sail backward, her girls, their faces showing the same distress—terror and pain and upset like she had never seen in either of them. A warm, prickly heat ran along her body and filled her with dread as she felt her mentality break down and she began to sob.

She gasped and her eyes popped open as she felt a warmth below her now, seeping along her backside and she felt her face contort with humiliation and she cried once more—for Liv, whom she knew was going crazy trying to find her, for her children who were too young to comprehend any of this, and for the possibility that she wouldn't make it out of this apartment alive.

"Is Mommy coming back soon?" Isabel questioned, spooning toasted oat cereal and sliced bananas into her mouth.

Olivia cradled her hands around her blue mug of steaming coffee as she looked at Isabel, then Theo, then Grace, and then back at Isabel. "She's coming home, my love. Soon."

"Did those men we met take her? Where did they go?" Theo asked, picking up a slice of banana from his bowl and taking a bite.

"I don't know, Theo," Olivia whispered, feeling her eyes fill with tears. "That's what Uncle Fin and Mama's squad are trying to figure out." Olivia took a sip of coffee.

"Mommy was scared, Mama," Grace added. "And I was scared, too. Her hand was all wet and it was shaking." Grace lifted her spoon, scooting a piece of banana onto it with her left forefinger.

"I know you were, Baby. I know you all were." Olivia felt a lump in her throat as she thought of Alex.

Her wife must have been overcome with fear, knowing that their kids might be in danger, and the things the two men said to her must have had her believing the worst.

And now, she had to tell the kids that she had to go back in to work and she knew they wouldn't be happy.

"Uh...guys…" She cleared her throat.

They all looked at her, chewing, milk dripping.

"Mama has to go into work for a little while today."

Immediately, whining, complaining, high-pitched disagreement was heard amongst the three of them.

"Why, Mama?" Grace's brow was furrowed.

"Yeah, Mama. Stay home today…" Isabel offered.

Theo only looked at her, tears filling his eyes.

Olivia immediately became emotional. His face said it all, and it killed her.

"I have to go in, babies, because I have to help them so we can bring your Mommy home."

"So they did take her?" Theo said softly, a tear rolling down his cheek.

Olivia nodded quickly, grabbing a paper napkin from her right and bringing it to her nose.

She took a deep breath and looked up at the ceiling before letting it out.

"Those were very bad men. I knew it!" Isabel scowled.

"And they have Mommy?" Grace's soft voice questioned. "Why?"

And Olivia didn't know what to say. Why did they have her? In a child's mind, that was a good question. In an adult's mind, the possibilities of the answers were endless.

Olivia only whispered, "I don't know, Baby." She then drew her lips inward and watched Theo stand slowly, his eyes on her as he walked up to her. He placed both hands on the brunette's forearm gently.

"Mama has to go fight the bad guys. Right, Mama?" He smiled.

Olivia swallowed, her eyes filling with even more tears. "That's right, Theo. That's what Mama does."

"So we have to let her, and she's gonna bring Mommy back…" Theo rested his cheek on Olivia's shoulder then, "…and then we'll have both our mommies." He looked up at her. "Right?"

Olivia felt her brow knit with emotion, her mouth twist. "Yes, Baby. I'm gonna bring Mommy back." She kissed his forehead gently, her mouth quavering.

And then the girls were next to her, giving her love, too.

And she closed her eyes and asked, once again, for help on this case, and to have her wife back in the house, back in her arms, and back in their lives once more.

"The bitch peed the bed!" Armando yelled from where he was standing to her left.

Heavy footsteps, Raul approaching. He leaned over and sniffed and then stood erect, beginning to laugh. He shook his head then. "Disgusting, bitch."

Alex felt the lump form in her throat, her tears beginning. The last thing she was going to do was show weakness and asking to use the restroom was one of them. And so she knew, eventually, this would happen. The nightmare she had just awoken from was what had most likely triggered it. She was almost certain that what she just expelled was probably the last of the liquid inside of her body, though. Almost positive she wouldn't have to go again before this whole thing was over—either rescued or taken out rolled in a rug and then thrown in the woods somewhere. Over the past hours she had been there, these were just two of the numerous scenarios that ran through her head constantly.

"Do we clean it?" Armando questioned.

Raul smiled. "Nah, she did it. She can sit in her own piss. I don't give a shit." He waved his hand as he walked away.

Armando headed to the door. "I'm out. Later."

"Later," Raul replied.

The shorter brother opened the door, exited, and closed it behind him.

Alex clenched her jaw as she looked back up at the ceiling, willing herself not to bawl. But at this point she felt hopeless, pathetic, and lost. There was someone constantly around and there was never any chance to try and be alone and work something out and, at this point, her entire backside had become numb. She had never been this still for this long before and she felt the atrophy. But now it was her entire back and neck that had become excruciating to the blonde.

Already having been subjected to hereditary back issues and having experienced spasms and cramps at various points in her life largely due to stress, she knew what minor pain felt like now because this pain was not minor in the least.

And at this point, it was worse than labor.

And once one of those spasms would get a hold, she could actually feel it mini-vibrate as the pain ran along her muscle.

And that was when she would sob.

And remember.

And think about death.

And think about her wife and kids.

Alex clenched her eyes closed tightly then and moaned, jerking her body in her restraints as a shooting pain ran across her shoulder blades, taking the breath out of her.

It finally subsided and she gasped and opened her eyes, panting heavily from the intense sensation.

Then, Raul was standing there again, above her, bottle of water in hand. Alex eyed the bottle and then looked back at him.

He held it up. "You want this?"

Alex looked back up, steeling her jaw. "No. I don't."

"You don't?" He knelt down then, his face to her left.

"Why the hell should I say yes? I say yes, and then you don't give me any." She looked at him now. "Isn't that your plan?"

He smiled. "Damn! Lawyers are so smart!" He stood again. "Well, I'm gonna give you some, whether you like it or not…" He unscrewed the cap and held it over her mouth, about two feet above her, still smiling. "Ready?"

She only looked at him.

He tilted the bottle and then moved his hand about to inches upward, beginning to let it trickle out.

The water entered her nose, a little in her mouth, most of it on her eyes and forehead as Alex began to cough and sputter, the whole action a torture tactic strictly for his pleasure.

He crushed the empty bottle with his right hand then and tossed it aside before coming close. "I told you, Ms. Cabot. I want you to suffer…" he hissed, the dark anger on his face terrifying.

Rosa came into the room then from the bedroom.

"Watch her, huh? I'm going to run an errand." Raul grabbed his keys and cell phone off of the kitchen table before looking at Rosa. He smiled at her and walked up to her and wrapped his left arm around her before reaching down to her crotch with his right hand and squeezing hard, lifting upward.

Rosa gasped, her face full of fear, her chin raising in defiance.

"Maybe we'll do it in front of her next time."

Rosa's eyes began to water. "Please, Raul. You said you wouldn't—"

"Yeah, I know what I said. But damn, Baby…" he looked her breasts over then, "…my brother is right. You're a good lay."

Rosa's lower lip trembled then. "I'll tell him…I'll tell him what you did to me."

Raul grabbed her chin then, squeezing, Rosa crying harder. "Will you?" He squeezed harder and shook her face. "Then you can count yourself good and dead if you do, Rosa. A few good screws isn't worth your life, is it?"

"But I didn't…"

"You didn't want it?" he sneered. "Dressing like you do?" He smiled. "Looking at me like you do?"

"I never—"

"Shut up!" he shook her head violently again. "As long as you're my brother's girl, your mine, too. Whether you like it or not. Comprende?"

Rosa nodded quickly, tears streaming down her face then.

He let her go and smirked as he walked to the door and opened it. "Watch her." He pointed at Alex. "Don't let anything go wrong." He raised his eyebrows, turned and headed out the door.

Rosa released a breath then, beginning to cry harder, her face in her hands. Alex only watched as she moved into the kitchen and put her back to her, continuing to cry.

Alex cleared her throat and blinked away some of the water from her eyes. "Rosa?"

No answer.

Alex waited a few more seconds, still watching her, and then Rosa finally turned around and folded her arms.

"My wife is a detective with Special Victim's Unit, Rosa. She can help you. She can help you find a way out." Alex knew to tread lightly. In all of her experience and Olivia's experience, she knew that one wrong word could cause a situation to go either way.

Rosa walked closer, slowly, her expression morose, yet hesitant.

"She helps women all the time. And I've also represented women for so many years that have gone through what you're going through. My wife works with the NYPD and she has put countless rapists and abusers away…for life…"

Rosa sniffed and took two more steps closer, her eyes still on Alex.

"She can help you…" Alex offered.

Rosa smiled then. "And I'll call her and you'll be rescued? And I'll go to jail and so will Armando and Raul and Pedro?"

"You haven't done anything wrong, Rosa. You're a victim, too." Alex tried to remain calm but saw Rosa's demeanor begin to change. "But that's up to you…"

Rosa's nostrils flared then and she spat, "Damn right it's up to me. I hate it when rich white people try and help the minorities. Makes me sick! You have had it so easy all your life and then you wanna help people to make yourself feel better?" She raised her eyebrows.

This hadn't gone the way Alex had hoped. At all. She only wanted to try and connect with the young woman on a different level now that the men were gone. But it seemed she wouldn't be biting, at all.

She felt her eyes fill with tears again and she felt the frustration rise inside of her and she jerked her body once more, the sound of the metal-frame clanging from her movement. She felt her face contort then and her lips tremble as she stared back up.

"Please," she whispered, looking back at Rosa. "Please don't let me dehydrate to death…" Her voice was shaky, almost unrecognizable. "I can't die like that…" she begged.

Rosa's expression stilled, almost as if this might have affected her. Then she lifted her hand, bracelet bangles clinging, and brought it down with force, and Alex's vision became dark once more.

Olivia pressed her face to the softness and inhaled her wife's pillows, closing her eyes and smelling her shampoo, her perfume, her scent, feeling the love enter her as she did so. She placed them back on Alex's side against the headboard and fluffed them before spotting black and white squares out of the corner of her eye on the blonde's night stand.

She turned fully now and saw, beneath the lamp, half of it sticking out, a mostly completed New York Times Crossword puzzle, a pencil lying on top. She carefully lifted the base of the lamp and pulled it out, looking at it, her fingers trembling as she held it. There was Alex's brushy handwriting. Even on a crossword puzzle it was elaborate, feminine, and determined.

She brought the paper to her nose and inhaled, only smelling the ink from the newspaper, tears filling her eyes. Pulling it away, she looked at the only clue that hadn't been solved: Number 49 down: To save someone. Six letters.

Olivia felt her mouth twist then and she whispered, "Rescue."

And she had a sudden boost, a sudden renewing of hope, in that one sign, in that one clue. She fluffed the pillows on her own side, moved to the door and turned the light off, and headed down the hallway to make sure the kids were getting ready for the day.

"How long, Olivia?" Jonathan's voice was calm, yet frantic.

She knew she needed to call Alex's brother to let him know what was going on, and she also needed someone to watch the kids. She hadn't been looking forward to telling any of the Cabots, but it was now time to let, at least, Jonathan know.

"Uh…" Olivia took a deep breath then, "…since yesterday, around eleven…" She closed her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose, leaning forward with her elbows on the kitchen table.

She had already changed for the day into a pair of black jeans, a black silk blouse, and a gray blazer, and the kids were all on the sofa watching Tom and Jerry as she made some last minute arrangements at the kitchen table.

"Since eleven?" His voice level rose. "Yesterday morning?"

She had never heard him raise his tone before, but this was his sister they were talking about.

"Sorry," he offered. "Since eleven, so…about twenty-one and a half hours? How…what happened?"

"A previous case from thirteen years ago. Do you remember the name Zapata?"

"Yeah. Yeah, I do, Olivia. I remember it really well, actually. Allie talked about it a lot."

"That's the one. We think it's a revenge abduction." Olivia placed her right hand on the back of her neck, trying to rub the tension away.

"I can't believe my sister is missing…" His voice shook.

Olivia nodded. "Yeah…so I need to go in to work and she's…she's not here…" Olivia felt that same intrusion in her throat again, causing the unsteadiness in her voice, her words to not come out right, "…so I need…"

"I'll be over to watch the kids. Give me ten minutes. I have to work at one, but Casey can watch them after that."

Olivia nodded again. "Thanks, Jonathan," she whispered.

"You got it. And Olivia…"

"Yeah, Jonathan?"

"Find my sister." A few seconds passed and he took a deep shaky breath. "Please…"

"We'll find her, Jonathan. We have to." Olivia's lower lip trembled as she ended the call.

And just as she set her phone down on the table, it rang again, she turned it and saw Fin's name.

She answered. "I'll be on my way as soon as Jonath—"

"We got the blood sample back, Liv…"

Olivia froze, her eyes focused on the shiny, green apples in the wire bowl in the center of the table.

"It's Alex's, Liv…"


	7. Chapter 7

6

Olivia took a deep, slow breath and let her thumb hover over the green phone icon, closing her eyes. She was sitting in her Datsun and had overcome the initial shock of the blood match, had handed the kids over to Jonathan, and was now sitting here, in the parking lot, knowing what she needed to do.

It had to come from her. After all, she was Alex's wife and heavily involved in the case. But, even after being a detective and having to inform family members and loved ones when people had gone missing, been abducted, was normally routine protocol, the fact that Alex was her wife, her soulmate, the love of her life, made it a million times worse. Besides, they needed to know. If Olivia waited any longer, things would become difficult to explain in the worst case scenario and tempers would flare from the brunette withholding information about something so close to all of them.

She tapped the screen and then took another deep breath as she placed it against her ear, waiting. Three rings and then the line picked up.

And Olivia instantly lost it upon hearing her mother-in-law's voice, so chipper, so familiar.

"Hello? Olivia? Is that you?"

Olivia's lower lip trembled then and then she attempted another breath, feeling her eyes fill with tears. "Hi, Cathy…"

"Olivia…what is it? Is it one of the children? Is it…" a tiny gasp, "…is my Alex OK?"

Olivia shook her head. "No, Cathy…she's…um…she's missing."

"Missing? What do you mean, Dear?"

"She was in the park with the kids yesterday morning and then she was…abducted." Olivia waited.

And there a was a silence then, a small whimpering, muffled, as though Cathy was covering the mouthpiece with her hand.

"She's been taken?" Cathy Cabot cried. "By whom?"

A case we had thirteen years ago. We think a family member, or the son, is seeking revenge."

More whimpering now, this time audible. Cathy gasped. "And the children? They were there? Are they OK?"

"The kids are all fine. A little shaken up and confused and upset, but they weren't harmed. They went to a neighbor's house like they knew to do."

Another silence, sniffing. "I'm glad they're OK," Cathy whimpered. "But my Alex…was she hurt?"

Olivia closed her eyes, not wanting to explain too much and upset the elder Cabot. After all, they didn't have much as of yet. "They did find her blood on the concrete in the park, so it's possible she was struck and coerced. There's…uh…there's also footage from one of the cameras and she's seen being put in a car…"

"Well, then you can find her, Olivia." Cathy's voice was hopeful, matter-of-fact. "Right?"

"It was a dead end. Car was abandoned, no fingerprints, no blood, no cameras. Someone covered their tracks and wiped everything down or they used gloves."

Olivia shut her eyes tightly, holding her forehead in her hand.

For a moment, she forgot who she was talking to, reminding herself that this was a civilian, the mother of her wife who was missing, not another detective. She realized she needed to back off of the details with Alex's mother.

"I'm coming there, Dear. Right away. I'm coming to be with you…with the kids…with her…" Cathy whimpered.

And Olivia felt her tears once more, the obstruction in her throat, the sickness in the pit of her stomach. "Cathy…I'm gonna ask that you stay in Southampton. Jonathan is at our house now and Casey is coming over later on when he has to go to work. I promised them I'd be home tonight, so…" Olivia shook her head.

The silence through the phone was revealing, but Olivia didn't want Cathy Cabot to come out to the city just yet. She wanted to wait a little while longer and if she saw the need, she would let her know.

"I know that you know what's best to do, Olivia. You're a wonderful detective and if you want me to stay here and you think it's what's best…that's what I'll do."

Olivia half-smiled. "Thanks, Cathy. It's just too soon to start really…" She didn't know what she wanted to say, but knew she wanted to remain hopeful and for Alex's parents to remain optimistic, as well.

"Let me know if you hear anything, Olivia?"

Olivia smiled then. "Of course, Cathy. You and Jonathan will be the first to know. OK?" Olivia raised her eyebrows. "And by tomorrow…if we haven't…" Olivia cleared her throat, "…if we haven't found her, I would like you to come here…be with the kids…with Jonathan…"

"OK, Dear. Please let me know…I'll be praying for you…all of you to get through this and return my beautiful daughter safely." She began crying then. "Goodbye…"

"OK, Cathy…" But the call was already ended and Olivia pulled the screen away from her face and looked at the disconnected call.

She tilted her neck to the left and to the right, letting out a few pops and then took another deep breath, noticing Fin's charcoal gray, Chrysler 300 Sedan off to the side. She also saw Carisi's white, late model Toyota Camry, and Rollins' small, red, Toyota truck. And with all of her people here, the squad all assembled, it was time to get to work and find her wife and bring her home.

She yanked on the handle of her car, grabbed her purse from the passenger seat, got out and closed it, and then headed inside, ready to solve a case that was the most important one she had experienced in her life.

Alex closed her eyes to rest them after having stared at the ceiling once more for a little while. From the same microwave clock, she knew it was a little past ten and she also knew that she had been here almost twenty-four hours. Aside from the being rolled like a burrito and being tossed somewhere in upstate New York, her mind had also concocted a few more scenarios of her demise while she lay awake after Raul had left and Rosa had made herself comfortable at the kitchen table, texting on her phone and continuing to glare at her.

Some other outcomes she had imagined: washing up in the East River after being tossed in there with an anvil attached to her ankle, or she might be buried inside a wall of this very apartment—something SVU had already had experience with—and the favorite one she had come up with so far was being chopped up in a million pieces and being made into a tasty pozole, her bones being given to the dog, Frankie, that she now realized she had yet to see again.

Alex felt the bottom hem of her navy sweat shirt being lifted and she opened her eyes to find Pedro there. She eyed him and clenched her jaw before she then jerked violently in her ropes. "Don't touch me!" she gritted.

He only smiled, sat next to her, and shook his head before slowly letting his forefinger begin tracing a line along her belly, eyes on her as he did so.

She let a rough breath out of her nose and looked up to the ceiling.

"Come on, lady…a little something? A smile? Something to get me in the mood?"

Alex looked at him then. "Are you fucking serious?"

"Yeah…I'm serious," he oozed, now letting his right hand cup her inner thigh and beginning to travel upward. "I bought the condoms, Baby…" He took a long strip from his pocket and waved them in the air.

Alex's body went violent then and she struggled, letting every ounce of energy she had inside of her jump, pull, push and she screamed at the top of her lungs. "Help!" Her neck strained as she yelled, "Help! Someone help me!"

Pedro's large, rough hand clamped over her mouth then, squeezing. He shook her face as he clenched it. "Shut up!"

"What's happening in here?" Raul questioned.

Panting, her eyes filled with tears, Alex pursed her lips together and looked at Raul who was entering the room in a hurry, zipping his jeans up.

"Why is the bitch screaming?" He adjusted himself and then buttoned the top of his jeans and then began to fasten his belt. "I told you to make sure she doesn't make noise." He looked at the two of them, then at the condom packages on the bed, and then back at Pedro. "What the fuck are you doing?"

"I-I told you, bruh…I was gonna get condoms and then do this bitch…" he stuttered.

"What do you want? Fucking candles, too? Set the fucking mood?" Raul came toward Pedro then and pulled him up, the larger man's hands going up.

"I wasn't gonna do it, Raul. I swear. I was just gonna…" Pedro was sweating now, his face filled with fear.

Raul shoved Pedro onto the sofa, the entire piece of furniture moving a good foot from the force, and then Raul pulled a gun out—the same gun from the park—and pointed it at Pedro.

"I told you that this bitch is gonna stay there, like she is, for as long as I feel like it." Raul moved in close to Pedro, leaning over him and grabbing his neck with his left hand, gun pressed to his forehead. "Are. We. Clear?"

Pedro nodded quickly, beginning to cry, and Raul let go of him, pushing him backward slightly and returning his gun to the back waistband of his jeans.

"Good. Because if I have to pull you off of her one more time…" Raul threatened, pointing, "…Dios ayúdame."

Alex swallowed then, feeling her own brow now covered in sweat and she closed her eyes, feeling her body begin to wrack with sobs, every second that passed, every minute in that cramped apartment, feeling like pure hell.

And it took everything inside of her to give her mind the strength and fortitude to make herself believe that this wasn't the way it was going to end for her. She closed her eyes and began to ask for help, beg for mercy, and to receive the physical resilience to lead her out of this situation and back into the arms and the world of the people who loved her.

Olivia looked at the headline of the newspaper that Fin had just dropped onto her desk:

Missing ADA, Wife of NYPD Detective

Olivia scanned the beautiful photo of her wife before she let her eyes read the first words:

NYPD detectives scoured the James Michael Levin Playground in search of clues in the disappearance of Assistant District Attorney Alexandra…

Olivia took her glasses off and stared at her partner incredulously. "How did they get any information about this? We've been tight-lipped the whole time."

"You know how it happens, Liv," Fin started. "Someone sees us there, next thing you know it's a story."

Olivia shook her head, lifting the top corners of the front page again. "It…shouldn't have gotten out." She narrowed her eyes, mouth opened. "How did they even know…" She shook her head, "…never mind." She let go of the paper and took a deep breath and released it, rubbing her face with both hands, elbows on her desk.

It was eleven o'clock and Olivia was getting more than frustrated. There were over three-thousand people with the last name Zapata, five-hundred sixty in the Bronx borough alone. Narrowing their search through records, they couldn't match any babies born thirteen years ago to Raphael Zapata and had to assume that the baby took his mother's name.

"Liv. You OK?" Fin was closer now.

She smiled and rubbed her forehead before looking up at him. "No."

"I know, Liv. I can't imagine what you're going through. That girl…she's your life, your other half…"

"She's my whole, Fin…" Olivia began playing with her steepled fingers then, pads running along pads, her eyes glazing over. "I keep imagining the worse possible thing…what I went through with Lewis and…" Olivia swallowed then, feeling her eyes begin to well with tears, "…I just lose it…" she whispered.

"Something will turn up soon, Liv. Something has to."

Olivia sniffed and took a deep breath then, just as a couple of knocks were heard and her office door swung open. It was Dodds.

"You got anything?" Olivia raised her eyebrows.

"I'm…" he started, before looking at Fin. "Can I have a moment to talk to Detective Benson?"

"It's Benson-Cabot and has been for—" she corrected automatically before stopping herself.

Fin held his hands up and then coolly walked out of the office, closing the door behind him as he eyed her through the glass, that charming smirk on his face.

Dodds waited until Fin was gone and had walked out of sight before continuing. He put his hands in his pockets and looked at her, studying her.

"Did they find anything else in the park? Anything we missed? Anyone call with any tips?" Olivia placed her glasses back on and lifted the lid of her lap top.

After a few moments of him not saying anything, she took her glasses off and looked up once more.

"I'm not sure it's a good idea for you to be on this one."

"I already heard it from Fin. I'm fine."

Olivia stood then, taking her phone from her back pocket and checking for anything—messages from Jonathan, her kids, Alex? Nothing.

"You're too close to this case, Detective Benson…"

"Jesus!" she hissed. "Benson-Cabot. Why is it so hard?" She looked at Dodds and saw the steeliness, the domination that always seemed to be there, and she stared him down before stating calmly. "Please call me Benson-Cabot. That's all I ask…" Olivia felt her eyes fill with tears then, once more, not able to keep her mind from her wife when she said their name aloud. She swallowed and willed more away but they came nonetheless.

"You're not OK and you need to be clear-headed for this. You can't intertwine emotions and screw something up."

Olivia ground her teeth as she continued to look at him.

"And I have to ask you a question," he began, looking back and forth between her eyes, his face close.

"Ask." Her voice was low, raspy, controlled.

"It's procedure in disappearances. And you know it. So...I don't want you to get—"

"Mad?" she smiled. "Chief, nothing about this case is procedural. I realized that twenty-four hours ago. But…" she sneered, narrowing her eyes, "…go ahead and ask. I can't guarantee I won't…react, though…"

He continued to watch her, the same cool, chauvinistic expression on his face he always had. "Were you and your wife having any…problems? Did you have a fight? Anything to cause her to maybe need to take a few days to regroup and collect herself?"

Olivia's top and bottom layers of her teeth became one and she felt her nostrils flare, her breathing coming faster. "With all due respect, Chief, my wife and I were…" She swallowed, feeling her face contort with pain, "…we were…she's my..."

And at that moment, her knees gave out on her, buckling beneath her as Chief Dodds caught her and helped her back into her desk chair.

"Detective Benson…Cabot…" He let go of her then and stood erect. "Take this time at home to be with your kids. We'll be working on this so you don't have to…"

"I have to be here!" she whimpered. "The kids have school on Monday…I can't sit at home…I'll go crazy."

She thought then of her wife possibly not being returned before Monday, either, and that would mean the chances of finding her were slim to none.

She covered her face with her left hand and stood, moving toward her office door. She needed to get out of there and go somewhere private because the emotions that were about to come out of her wouldn't be anything she would ever want anyone to see. Not even Fin.

She placed her left hand on the doorknob and turned it just as Fin did the same on the other side. She gasped, her hand over her mouth, just wanting to flee this situation, this weak moment.

"Call came in from Central Park security," Fin said calmly.

Olivia's mouth opened then, eyes wide.

"Some kid, tryna get his ball out of a tree, and some glasses fell out with it. Same place where the blood was."

Olivia gasped and began crying behind her hand.

"The woman who called recognized the glasses from the newspaper photo."

Olivia placed her other hand over her mouth, as well.

"Liv, I think they might be Alex's glasses."

Olivia gasped again and then realization hit her. She widened her eyes and opened her mouth, the hope rising inside of her.

"Are you thinking what I'm thinking, Detective?" Fin questioned.

"Prints."

"That's it," he smiled.

And, as if everything in the world depended on it, Olivia grabbed her blazer from the back of her chair, took her keys from her desk drawer, and adjusted her gun and badge as she followed Fin out the door, off to, hopefully, finally place one of the last pieces of this tortuous puzzle into place.


	8. Chapter 8

Olivia watched intently as the pair of glasses were carefully dusted—up down, up down—ever-so-slowly. The forensics lead of the crime scene unit, a handsome, mid-thirties strawberry blonde named Jason McAllister, gently set the brush down and held the pair of specs up.

The brunette had her arms folded as she fought every ounce in her being to grab them and run the prints through the fingerprint scanning machine herself. Instead, she felt her right knee shake slightly, vibrating with the impending results of the scan, content in the fact that McAllister was the best at what he did and that this whole process was extremely delicate and needed to be handled with extreme kid gloves.

"Looks like we have some smudged partial prints on the front of the glasses." He held them up to the light and tilted them back and forth. "See them?"

Olivia squinted and nodded, her mouth open. "Yeah…but I see something else on the other side." The brunette narrowed her eyes even more. "Is that…?"

McAllister placed the glasses back onto the surface and then repeated the same motion with the same white dust, dipping it into the container with care and then lightly and carefully brushing the inside of the lenses. He smiled and held them up then, looking at Olivia. "A perfect thumbprint."

Olivia's heart rate increased slightly as the adrenaline began to stir inside of her. She watched him carefully press the fingerprint lifting tape to the inside of the lens and finish the entire process. She looked at Fin, her hands going to the top of her head and running her fingers through her locks, the two just looking at each other.

"This is it, Liv. We're gonna find her," he offered with that quiet, smooth confidence.

Olivia only nodded and took a deep breath before returning her gaze to Jason. She watched as he placed the clear strip along the edge of the scanner—connected to a laptop—and then pressed a button with his gloved finger, the prints slowly being rolled downward into the device.

"If there's a match, and they're in the system, we got 'em," Fin offered.

"I know…" Olivia said softly.

The strip continued through, painstakingly slow, until it settled on the output tray and then McAllister moved to his computer, typing in a few things before a flurry of images began blinking across the screen—fingerprint, matching points of minutiae, face; fingerprint, matching points of minutiae, face—over and over again, each flash not more than a quarter of a second in length, hundreds flashing in front of them as they all stared at the screen.

And then the screen froze, a face appearing immediately. And it was a mug shot.

Raul Carlos Moreno. Born 3/4/1990.

And it went on to list his offenses: Aggravated sexual assault. Larceny. Possession and distribution of drugs. And on and on and on.

And there was his address.

Right there.

And, at that moment, Olivia had the feeling, a sensation when she looked at that particular address—621 Manida Street, Apartment. 441, Hunts Point, Bronx—and she felt her energy, her electricity, kick into overdrive and she was ready to go.

"Send that to my phone," she ordered, pointing. She turned and began to walk briskly down the hallway, Fin right next to her. "We'll take the FDR to the Robert Kennedy Bridge. It's about forty-five minutes."

"I'll call local Bronx PD for back up," Fin offered.

Olivia stopped and faced him. "This can't go wrong, Fin." She furrowed her brow.

"It won't, Liv. But we can't wait until we get there, who knows…she'll be there longer and…"

Olivia felt her eyes fill with tears then and she swallowed, nodding. "You're right. As much as I want to cuff this bastard myself and pull his balls through his throat, she needs to get out of there as soon as possible…" Olivia thought for a moment, "…that is…if she's even there."

"She'll be there, Liv."

Olivia steeled herself and took her walkie-talkie from her back pocket, beginning to jog and speak into it. "This is Detective Olivia Benson-Cabot with SVU. I have a 10-72 at 621 Manida Street, Bronx, and I need officers on the scene. Please be advised, the suspect's name is Raul Moreno. He's armed and dangerous. There is an abducted woman inside the apartment. We need a bus at that location, too. Once again, the address is 621 Manida Street, Apartment 441."

They reached the car and Fin got in the driver's seat and Olivia in the passenger seat, both buckling up quickly, the car peeling out, sirens blaring, within seconds.

"Detective Tutuola and I are on our way. I repeat. Suspect is armed and dangerous. Please take precaution."

And the speed of the Caprice picked up, Olivia's body being instantly propelled backward as she held on to the door rest, and they were off to the Bronx to arrest the criminal who took Alex, rescue her wife, and bring her back home, once and for all.

"Let's get this bastard, Liv."

Olivia nodded, not able to keep a slight smile from creeping on her face. "Let's do this, detective."

Love has gone and left me and I don't know what to do;

This or that or what you will is all the same to me;

But all the things that I begin I leave before I'm through—

There's little use in anything as far as I can see.

Alex felt her eyes fill with tears once more, remembering that poem by Edna St. Vincent Millay called "Ashes" that she had memorized in college. It had always struck her as hopeful before, perhaps the person writing it just stating the obvious fact that nothing stays the same, that all things change.

But now, as she recited it inside of her head once more, lying here in the darkened living area for the past twenty-six hours, it had taken on a whole different meaning. It spoke of despair. It spoke of things that would never happen. It spoke of an untimely end.

Alex felt a tear roll down her right cheek and her lower lip tremble as she thought of her wife.

Olivia.

They had been through so much together. They had met and there was instant magic on both sides. Their friendship grew, along with their attraction to each other and once they had consummated and professed their love, they had been unexpectedly separated. They got through that, though those five years, only to be reunited again, stronger than ever. Engaged right away, neither wanting a moment away from the other and, within a few months of marriage, they were expecting their first child.

The idealistic fantasy aspect of it was unreal. The part where they lived happily ever after had come so quickly and the blonde thought it would be that way until they were old and gray, helping each other up from chairs, laughing about their youth, watching their children grow, flourish, and create their own paths of life.

Alex's eyes filled with more tears now, her hope having dwindled, her thoughts of being saved now replaced by memories of her wife, of her children.

She smiled as she thought of her wife and her affinity to water. How Olivia, no matter the circumstance, the situation, once she became submerged in an ocean, a hot spring, a bathtub, her wife became a sex maniac. Alex couldn't help but giggle—a sad, longing happiness—at the face her wife made when she was turned on. It was the most beautiful expression Alex had ever seen and every time she had it on that amazing face, she couldn't help but fall in love with her just a tiny bit more, if that were even possible.

She had been married to Olivia for almost ten years now. And in those years, they had lived their lives, expanded their family, grown their careers into different branches. But in that time, they had all been existing in sheer bliss and the blonde wouldn't trade any of the moments for anything.

And all she wanted was to have them back. To see her wife's amazingly gorgeous face. To feel her embrace, her arms around her. To feel her kisses again. To have the little arms of her children around her again. To hear their laughs and uninhibited freedom of happiness.

That was all she wanted. Not much really.

But as she lay there, looking up at the ceiling once more, she felt nothing but desperation and anguish. She felt she would never be found. She felt she would be here, tied to this bed, until she drew her last breath.

The children would live without her and Olivia would go on. Olivia was an amazing mother and Alex knew that she would do an incredible job with the kids. She had no doubt of that.

Her mind jumped back into present reality and she remembered that she was in excruciating physical pain in more than one area of her body. At this point, she dare not move her arms or legs. Any motion of her wrists or ankles would remind her of the raw skin that was now there. The coarseness of the rope had been rubbing through the first layers of her skin, and she felt the exposed, wet, bloody layers beneath.

Her backside was completely numb, but the pain along her spine and shoulder blades was indescribable—a stabbing, burning, throbbing ache that never stopped.

But it wasn't just physical.

The cracks and water stains on the ceiling had become a sort of art work to her, now having taken on shapes of animals—a goat and a turtle—and one of an old man's face—perhaps Van Gogh? —and she swore that now she could hear the Rachmaninoff Piano Concertos No. 1 & 2 playing somewhere in the room. She felt like she was losing her mind and, in all honesty, she very well could have been.

But she had a plan. A last resort of sorts to try and save herself. But the conditions would have to be just right.

It was something she hesitated to do because if it went wrong, it would go terribly wrong and she wasn't sure she would be able to handle the outcome.

She knew that Raul was sleeping in the bedroom and Rosa was out. Pedro was coming back any minute with some of their usual convenience store items, so she had to put the plan into effect as soon as Pedro got back and before Raul woke up.

Alex looked toward the door as she heard the lock turn and the piece of wood squeak open. Just as expected, Pedro with two brown grocery bags.

She smiled at him and the look on his face was priceless—surprise, disbelief, elation.

"What'd ya get?" she asked cheerfully.

Pedro set the bags on the kitchen table and then turned and looked at the closed bedroom door before moving slowly towards her. "Uh…I got…" he looked back again, "…some rum and more beer and some chips…" He stepped even closer then and looked back once more before standing at the foot of the cot.

"You still have those condoms?" She raised her eyebrows.

His face lit up, a goofy grin covering his perspiration-covered skin. "Y-yeah…I got 'em right here…" He pulled one out of his back pocket. "I thought you—?"

"Well you thought wrong," Alex smiled, moving her wrist and feeling the jute cut further into her skin. She fought the urge to moan. "Someone's sleeping and I thought maybe now would be a good time, Pedro. We have some privacy." She smiled at him once more.

"Yeah?" he questioned, sitting next to her legs. "Do you think we have time?"

"How long do you need, baby?" She batted her eyes at him.

"Uh…" Pedro looked at the closed door again before his gaze went back to her, his eyes running along her body, "…I don't think I need long…"

"Perfect," she winked. "Then let's get to it. Take your pants off, big boy."

Pedro's eyes went wider then, his gaze still on her body and he stood and unbuttoned and unzipped his pants. Then a look of confusion washed over his face. "Uh…" he looked at her ankles tied together and then back at her and then her ankles, and then around the room.

"Use that knife over there," Alex encouraged. "The one on the counter."

Pedro looked behind him and then hastily moved a few feet away and grabbed the pocket knife before returning to Alex.

"Hurry, Pedro. I'm ready now…" Alex cooed. "I gotta have you…"

Alex watched as he opened the knife and then placed it against the rope in between her ankles and began sawing, his face now dripping with perspiration, one drop forming on the tip of his nose, threatening to fall.

"That's it, Baby. Almost there…" Alex coaxed, watching his face, his every action.

Halfway through the half-inch rope and he was still working on it, even more beads forming along his forehead now.

A few more back and forth motions and the rope was separated, her ankles were detached, and Pedro closed the knife and stuck it into his back pocket, smiling at her.

"Let me see what you have, Baby," Alex cooed.

Pedro pushed his jeans down then, his large shirt falling at his upper thighs. He hiked it up, revealing that rotund midsection, and Alex let her eyes go to the area in question. And she didn't see anything. Only the bottom hem of his boxer briefs.

"Come here, Pedro. But you have to be gentle. I haven't done this in a long time."

"Oh, right. Cuz…"

Alex nodded. "Right."

He moved closer and placed his left knee on the bed and then hiked his right leg over her, his knees now on either side of her hips.

"Want me to help you get ready, Pedro? Because I'm already there." Alex swallowed as she looked at the massive man hovering over her, feeling her eyes burn with emotion now at the reality of what she had put into motion for the sake of one last ditch effort, the sickness in her stomach.

But this was the plan.

Pedro nodded adamantly, his face glistening.

"My hands, Pedro..." She looked at him with expectant eyes and he reached into his back pocket once more and then moved the blade to the rope on her wrists, beginning the same back and forth motion.

Once the ropes were cut from either side of her thighs and her arms and legs were now mobile, it was tempting to just run, head for the door and leave. But she knew, unless incapacitated, he would over power her and she would be in an even worse situation.

She needed to continue.

Ands so, with trembling hands, ropes still cuffed and dangling from her wrists like bracelets, now able to see the damage they had caused, Alex reached for the waistband of his boxer briefs and tugged at the elastic.

I need you to move backward, Baby." Alex smiled up at him, feeling her mouth tremble, the bile rising up into her throat.

He smiled and leaned forward then, his face moving to just millimeters in front of her own, his hot, sour breath hitting her space, and she fought her gag reflex. And, instead of moving down just yet, she felt him move closer, his hot, fleshy mouth being pressed to her own, his probing tongue instantly inside her mouth, his acrid taste suddenly becoming her own taste.

And she wanted to vomit right then and there.

Roughly, he broke the kiss and he now inched slightly downward then, his large hand tugging her sweat shirt to her cleavage, to place a hard, rough kiss on her upper chest, Alex gasping and panting as he did so, fighting the urge to cry, but feeling her eyes well with tears.

He then moved slightly further down and lifted her shirt upward, kissing her breastbone with force, his stubble painfully scraping along her flesh.

And now was her chance. She saw the window as clear as day at that exact moment. The right alignment. The correct position for what she wanted to do.

And with all of the force she could summon, she let her right knee make impact with the obese man's crotch, his face immediately twisting in pain, his hands going to his groin, his body cowering into itself as he struggled to even breathe.

"What the fuck?" Pedro huffed, confused, his large body falling off to the side and onto the ground in a ball.

Raul now. "It's the last time, man. I told you already." He pulled a whimpering Pedro by his shirt then, pulling him to a standing position and shoving him toward the front door.

A loud banging sound. Deafening.

The whole front apartment door was suddenly horizontal, teetering halfway on a kitchen chair, and five officers were suddenly inside the room with them. Raul with his hands in the air, Pedro still holding himself and grimacing.

Alex gasped, attempting to sit up, but being encumbered by her own pain and weakness. "Please…" she said softly, feeling her face twist with relief, holding her braceleted wrists up "…please get these off of me…and get me out of here..."

A female officer approached her slowly, hands slightly raised. "I'm Officer Darwin. Are you OK?"

Alex nodded quickly, watching as Raul and Pedro were cuffed and led out of the apartment.

"An ambulance is on its way and we're gonna get you out of here," Officer Darwin informed her.

The squealing siren of an ambulance was heard now, getting closer, and Alex couldn't help but sob harder as Officer Darwin cut the remainder of the ropes from her, setting her free, and finally ending this twenty-six hour-long nightmare.

And all she wanted to do was see her wife. And her children. She closed her eyes, beginning to cry even harder from relief, from her prayers and wishes coming true, as the EMTs rushed in with their equipment and bags and she thanked God that she had been found.


	9. Chapter 9

Alex looked up at the muscular, male EMT on her left as he began to wrap her left wrist. Her eyes were filled with tears as she questioned, "Where's Detective Benson-Cabot?" Her own voice was meek, quiet.

Mark, or so his narrow, gold nametag read, smiled before securing the gauze carefully and then looked at her. "She's on her way to the hospital." He looked through the back windows of the ambulance and nodded toward it. "I think that's her and her partner right there. They radioed that they were right behind us." He motioned with his head and then lifted her other wrist.

Alex looked through the small window of glass to see the navy Caprice, red light flashing—that her wife normally used for work—and she saw a familiar close-cropped, silhouette of a head in the driver's seat, and then moved her gaze to the passenger seat.

It was her wife. She knew her anywhere—even at thirty feet away and without her glasses—but she couldn't quite make her out completely. And she wanted so desperately to do that, to see her, to look into her eyes, to feel her.

To hear her voice. And, God, she missed her voice.

The only sounds she wanted were those of love, kindness, familiarity, and she felt her eyes well with even more tears then as she thought of this fact and Mark finished the dressing on her other wrist.

"We're almost there," he encouraged, looking at her with empathy.

Alex only nodded and leaned her head back on the pillow, eyes still on her wife, feeling her vision roll slightly, as she closed her eyes.

Olivia couldn't help it. Tears filled her eyes as she rested her right elbow on the ledge of the passenger window, her hand over her mouth as she looked at her wife through the back of the ambulance. Seeing her lying there, being worked on by EMT next to her, she was filled with mixed emotions—joy that her wife had been found and was coming home, but anger and vengeance that she was hurt and had gone through this in the first place.

"We're almost there, Liv. Just a couple more minutes," Fin soothed.

Olivia nodded quickly, feeling a tear roll down her right cheek. She sniffed and hastily swiped it away before returning it to cover her mouth, her lips trembling behind it.

"It's gonna be alright, Liv. Alex is gonna be just fine. With you and the kids all together again…"

Olivia clenched her jaw. "I'm just so angry, Fin," she uttered, her voice shaky. "I'm so—I feel like I want to—" But she didn't finish her sentence, afraid of what might come out of her mouth.

She would have her time, in the same room, with all of them—everyone involved in her wife's abduction—and until that happened, there was only one thing that needed to take place.

Taking care of Alex and making sure she was OK both physically and mentally.

The fact that she could see that the EMT was wrapping her wrists, told of restraining. The fact that her wife's face was pink, spoke of pain and heartache.

And it killed the brunette.

The ambulance stopped in front of the emergency entrance doors and within seconds, the two EMTs from the front had gotten out, moved around the back, and opened the doors.

Olivia pulled on the handle and swung her door open, her eyes not leaving the opening back of the ambulance, and then she shut it, jogging directly to the gurney where her wife was laying. The stretcher was pulled out and lowered and the brunette went around to Alex's right side as the medical workers stopped briefly, knowing who she was from the badge on her hip, the call she had just made, and the story in the paper. She leaned over her wife, feeling her emotions come on strongly then.

And then those blue eyes opened and looked at her, and that porcelain face scrunched with dolorous relief, her hands reaching out to her.

Olivia took them and kissed each, before placing her hand on her wife's cheek. "You're gonna be OK, Al…"

Alex only nodded adamantly, her mouth trembling, tears falling.

"We need to get her inside, Detective."

Olivia nodded, looking at Alex as she pulling away slightly, their fingertips still touching, the blonde's hands loosening in her hold until they went flax on her lap. Her wife looked so small, so defenseless, so frail, so exhausted.

She stepped backward slightly and watched as Alex's eyes rolled and then closed and she furrowed her brow, falling asleep, and they wheeled her into the hospital.

Two officers walked up then, nodding at Olivia, their hands on their duty belts.

Olivia narrowed her eyes and looked at one of the EMTs. "Why does she seem so…?"

"We had to give her pain medication and a sedative," a shorter, blonde EMT explained.

"A sedative?" Olivia asked incredulously. "Why?"

"When she had to wait in the apartment for us to set up and check her vitals, she lost it, Detective. We had to sedate her for the safety of our team. She wanted to run out of there. Was fighting us. But she couldn't have gotten away even if she wanted to. Her back is all messed up and she was much too weak."

"She just wanted to get out of there," a female officer named Darwin, from the scene, offered, her voice shaky eyebrows raised, shaking her head. "I think she went through hell, Detective."

Olivia nodded, trying not to break down again. "Thank you, officers. I need to be in there. Detective Tutuola and I will be in touch." She tried a smile and then looked at Fin who was by the Caprice, talking with the other officers from the scene of the rescue. She opened her mouth to call something to him and he nodded in understanding.

She turned and headed through the doors of the emergency entrance, ready to be there for her wife in any way that she could.

Sitting in a chair to the left of Alex's bed, Olivia watched her wife sleep. The blonde was out—subdued and medicinally placated—and the brunette knew she was dreaming because her hands were twitching, her feet, as well, and every now and then her brow would furrow and her chin would lift slightly.

She wanted so badly for those blue eyes to open up, to look at her, to see her awake and alert and OK; but, at the same time, she knew Alex needed rest from the toll of what she had gone through both physically and emotionally, coupled with relief and her current state chemically, and Olivia would wait as long as it took for her to awaken.

She swallowed, looking at her beautiful wife lying there in that white hospital bed that seemed to dwarf her, an IV in her arm giving her much-needed fluids, her pink mouth subtly chapped and slightly parted, her hair messy and matted and in a lopsided ponytail, and she couldn't help but feel her heart expand, enlarge, at seeing her so helpless, so defeated, so kicked down; yet now so safe once more.

The right side of Alex's upper lip was swollen, and there was bruising just below her nose, as well, crusted blood inside of her right nostril. There was also an abrasion on her right cheek—red and raw and sore—and Olivia gathered that she must have received a blow at some point to that area of her face.

The brunette sniffed and swallowed, nodding to herself, and felt her eyes fill with tears as she leaned over from the chair she was sitting in and took her wife's left hand, gently holding it, running her thumb over the soft skin on the back before leaning over and placing a gentle kiss on her knuckles. She lifted her head then and felt Alex's hand jerk slightly then and she peered at her face briefly before looking back down at her hand.

Where are her rings? Olivia thought to herself, her mouth parting, brow furrowing.

Did Raul or one of his guys take them?

"How is she?" Fin's quiet voice questioned from the doorway.

Olivia looked up, still confused. "She's…uh, she hasn't woken up yet. But…"

Fin moved further inside the room.

"…they did a rape kit on her, just in case, and to collect more evidence from her…but…" Olivia looked back at her wife's bare finger, "…her wedding and engagement rings are gone, Fin."

"We'll find 'em, Liv. We got Raul Moreno and Pedro Escobar at the station in the tank. Brother Armando was arrested coming back home and he was askin' about someone named Rosa. If she'd been arrested too. Must be a girlfriend or something."

Olivia stood now and moved up to Fin, placing her hands on his elbows and backing him up a foot or so, standing close and leaning in, speaking low, her eyes not focused on him but somewhere in between his neck and his chin. "I don't want to talk about it here, in front of her, until she's awake and has had a chance to talk about it first. I don't want to risk anything…upset her." She looked into his warm, deep brown eyes. "Does that make sense?"

Fin smiled. "Makes perfect sense, Liv." He looked at her intently now. "And now comes the hard decision for you. We got the three of them at the station and I know you want to be in on the interrogations, but I also know you want to be here."

Olivia nodded fervently, feeling the lump in her throat. "Yeah," she whispered.

"So…I was thinking…CSI is doing they thang at the apartment and have a couple more hours to go, it's…" he looked at his watch briefly, "…about four now…I say we keep the three guys in there tonight, you stay here with Alex until she wakes up, and we deal with the questioning of Raul and his posse tomorrow." Fin raised his eyebrows. "Whatchoo think?"

Olivia tried a smile. "Thanks, Fin…"

"For what, Liv?"

"For thinking this through, coming up with a plan, because…"

"I got you, Detective." He smiled. "Always."

Olivia moved into him and wrapped her arms around him, closing her eyes and resting her cheek on his shoulder, the older detective doing the same. "I know you do, my friend." She hugged him tighter. "I know you do."

They pulled away and the brunette half-smiled.

"I'll head back to the station," Fin began. "I'll holler atcha when I get there, Liv." He winked and then turned and walked out of the room and down the hallway.

A doctor headed into the room then and she smiled.

"Detective Benson-Cabot?" She raised her eyebrows.

"Yes," Olivia offered, glancing at the doctor's nametag, Dr. Monica Roberts, PhD., before looking back at her face.

She was Olivia's height, with medium-length dark black hair and small, dark eyes and a kind smile.

"I'm Dr. Roberts." She looked at Alex.

"Nice to meet you, Dr. Roberts," Olivia took a deep breath, both of them now looking at the blonde. "She hasn't woken up yet, Doctor."

"That was a strong sedative they gave her, midazolam. She must have really been agitated for them to give it to her. But she'll sleep now, and…" she flipped through a couple of pages on the clipboard in her arms, "…according to the EMTs, they also gave her ten milligrams of morphine to help with her back pain."

Olivia felt that lump again and she swallowed it down, nodding.

"She's been in and out, as you know, but mostly out. And her verbal consent for the rape kit was helpful." Dr. Roberts cocked her head to the side. "I know she appreciated you being there during that, even though she wasn't awake for most of it."

"Of course…" Olivia said softly. "And her fluids? Her back? Her wrists?" Olivia felt her eyes begin to water again, no matter how hard she fought to keep them away. "Her nose?"

Dr. Roberts reached out and placed a hand on Olivia's upper arm. "Your wife is going to be fine, Detective." She smiled. "I promise. Nothing broken, no infections. She was really low on fluids but we're getting those into her now. Her wrists and ankles will heal and the pain is being managed. She said she wasn't raped, but there might be other DNA on her that will be helpful, as you know…"

Olivia nodded. "And her back?"

"She was immobile for over twenty-four hours and, with her prior issues with that region, especially due to stress, it amplified her previous problems. Her back pain has always been stress-related, you say?" Dr. Robert's raised her eyebrows.

"Yeah…if she's going through a particularly stressful time…she's always had back and neck pain and headaches."

"Well, I'd say the situation she was in constitutes a stressful one and not being able to move for so long only aggravated it."

Olivia swallowed again, looking at her wife. "But she's gonna be OK?"

Dr. Roberts smiled. "Her pain is under control and we have her in clean clothes now, after her accident."

And Olivia knew already what the doctor was referring to. There was no explanation necessary. And it was yet another thing that Olivia hated Raul Moreno for, and another thing for the brunette to be proud of her wife for. But still, the look on Alex's face when they removed her soiled clothing was almost too much to bear. But Olivia understood and wanted her wife to know that she always would be empathetic and understand. No secrets between them. No embarrassment. Nothing to be ashamed of.

"I know she's gonna ask when she can go home when she wakes up again. And I…" Olivia sniffed, "…I'd like to know, too…and our kids are gonna want to know. My sister-in-law is watching them right now and I need to know what to tell them."

"I think she needs to stay here, at least, overnight, Detective. I think it would be best to get her on track with fluids and make sure she's able to move around first."

Olivia looked at Alex again. "She's not gonna like that. I know she's not." She looked back a Dr. Roberts. "Can't she come home tonight?"

"Like I said, we need to watch her, keep the IV in her, make sure her numbers are OK first. Her blood pressure has gone down since she arrived, so that's a good thing. And if, when she wakes up, she's hungry, let the nurses know and they'll get her something to eat."

Olivia nodded, looking back at Alex and moving towards her, standing next to the bed. "OK. But…I'm gonna stay here tonight, then." She took her wife's right hand again. "No matter what she says."

"That'd be fine, Detective. Do you have any other questions?"

Olivia looked at the doctor and smiled. "Not right now. Thank you, Doctor."

Dr. Roberts nodded and then turned and left the room, closed the door behind her, placed the clipboard in the slot outside of the room, and moved on to the next patient.

Olivia carefully sat on the bed next to the blonde and felt her eyes fill with tears once more. "We're gonna get through this, Al…" she whispered. "I'm here for you, Babe…"

Eyelids fluttering then and then amazing blueness. And a smile. Her wife looked at her with such love, such appreciation, that Olivia couldn't help but begin to sob.

"Hi, Babe," Olivia said softly.

"Hey, Liv," Alex looked her face over as she squeezed her hand back with equal fervor. "You look…" Alex shook her head, "…so beautiful, Liv."

"Oh, yeah?" Olivia smiled, raising her eyebrows. "Hard to believe after I've been so…" Olivia swallowed, "…worried about you…"

Alex nodded, wincing slightly, before looking back at her. "You've always looked good in your work clothes." Alex tried to wink but it came out more like a double-eyed, extra-long blink.

Olivia couldn't help but smile at her and shake her head. "How are you feeling, Al?"

Alex moaned, closing her eyes and dipping her head further into her pillow. "Right now? I feel...nothing...numb, but…"

She opened her eyes, the blueness still mesmerizing to Olivia.

"But?" Olivia questioned.

Alex shook her head then, her eyes filling with tears. "God, Olivia…" she whispered, "…I thought…I thought I…" Her face wrinkled with emotion than and she put her right hand over her face.

Olivia moved in and carefully wrapped her arms around her wife. Alex leaning forward to return the embrace fully. And they held each other, each shaking with relief, both crying in the other's arms.

"Shhh," Olivia soothed, lightly tickling the back of her wife's neck with her fingertips, "…you're safe now, Babe. And it's time for you to relax and get better before we think about anything else, my love." Olivia smiled. "OK?" Olivia moved to pull away but was met with her wife not forfeiting the hold.

Olivia smiled and kissed the shell of her ear.

"I don't want to let you go, Liv," Alex whispered. "Just hold me like this…please…"

Olivia felt her lower lip quaver then and she smiled. "Anything you want, Babe." Olivia kissed her ear lobe then. "Anything."

And, at that moment, Olivia felt their world's puzzle pieces fall back into place. It was going to be a rough few days, even weeks, but she knew that with the love they had for each other and their will and drive to persist, there was nothing that they couldn't, and wouldn't, get through.

As her wife's body hummed against her own, her heartbeat felt against her own breast, she knew that this much was certain.

A/N: Each chapter, from now on, will pick up right after what last happened, so we don't miss anything. For example, the next chapter will pick up right after Olivia and Alex's last conversation.


End file.
